Today is a big day! 18 years in the making. Today my daughter begins her college experience. It's hard to describe my thoughts and feelings right now. There are moments when I'll just start tearing up as if I'm sad, but I'm not. I'm excited for her. Proud of her. And I know that she will do great things. After-all, 18 years of parenting and schooling has prepared her for this adventure. STOP!!! Wait a minute. I'm not ready. I haven't had any college prep!
No one prepares you for this. The letting go part. How do you switch so quickly from the decision-making-parent to the friendly-advice-parent. I look at the boxes waiting to be loaded and it kicks in. Did she pack everything? Does she have everything she needs? What if she forgot something? And she is only going 30 minutes away! Crazy huh?
Our relationship is definitely going to change. I wished they offered classes in this. Maybe when your child is a senior you can go to College Prep 101, Letting Go! I have so many questions. Do I call within the first few weeks or do I wait? What if I don't hear from her? Ugh!
Well it will be an adventure to say the least.
To my daughter - Thank you for being who you are and reminding every day not to take life so serious. Have fun in college. Keep an open-mind and be willing to take risks. I will always be here as a safety net so don't be afraid to take that leap. Many opportunities are once in-a-lifetime so recognize those and grab them when you can.
Go get'm tiger
With all my love.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The Value of X - Doctor Who?
GRE....Graduate Record Examination. Just another standardized test that is suppose to determine if you'll be successful in graduate school. I've been looking at the GRE test examples and questioning whether that is truly the case. Have you seen what is on that test? Lugubrious - Huh? I believe myself to have a fairly broad vocabulary, but really? Who talks like that? And then there is the math.
Supposedly basic math skills from high school. Do you know how long it has been since I've been to high school? I don't remember that stuff. Hmmmm, what does that say about our education system? Well, that is another subject. Back to math. It really has me questioning my decision to pursue a Ph.D.
I've decided though that I'm going to prove to myself I can do this. So I purchased a study guide written by Princeton students and have downloaded prep software from the makers of the GRE. So far the review has been good. I've learned some tips and a few tricks.
I also discovered that they have redesigned the GRE. there are no more Analogies. I didn't mind those. they have added more sentence completion and reading which I'm thankful for because those are my strong points. I'm still going to have to increase my vocabulary and they still have the math section. YUK! That is where I'll be spending most of my review since I have to relearn my high school math.
I won't be able to take the test until August so I'll have plenty of time to learn words like panegyric and misanthrope. Not to mention finding the value of x. WHY? I don't know it is just the way the system rolls.
Supposedly basic math skills from high school. Do you know how long it has been since I've been to high school? I don't remember that stuff. Hmmmm, what does that say about our education system? Well, that is another subject. Back to math. It really has me questioning my decision to pursue a Ph.D.
I've decided though that I'm going to prove to myself I can do this. So I purchased a study guide written by Princeton students and have downloaded prep software from the makers of the GRE. So far the review has been good. I've learned some tips and a few tricks.
I also discovered that they have redesigned the GRE. there are no more Analogies. I didn't mind those. they have added more sentence completion and reading which I'm thankful for because those are my strong points. I'm still going to have to increase my vocabulary and they still have the math section. YUK! That is where I'll be spending most of my review since I have to relearn my high school math.
I won't be able to take the test until August so I'll have plenty of time to learn words like panegyric and misanthrope. Not to mention finding the value of x. WHY? I don't know it is just the way the system rolls.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Decisions, Decisions - Doctor Who?
I met with my advisor the other day regarding finishing my master's program and applying for the doctorate program. I'm going to have make some choices which is always difficult for me. I always worry about making the right one. It reminds me of a story I read once by Sylvia Path.
"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."
I think of this all the time and yet, I still have trouble with choosing. Sometimes looking too far into the future and planning makes moving forward so much harder. This blog, Doctor Who will be a chronicle of my journey to becoming a Ph.D.
So I guess it's time to take the first step toward an goal and not away from one in fear. GRE here I come.
"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."
I think of this all the time and yet, I still have trouble with choosing. Sometimes looking too far into the future and planning makes moving forward so much harder. This blog, Doctor Who will be a chronicle of my journey to becoming a Ph.D.
So I guess it's time to take the first step toward an goal and not away from one in fear. GRE here I come.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The End is Near
January 2011, Really? Why does it seem that the older I get the faster time flies. It seems that I just don't have the same amount of time to get things done that I did when I was younger. I have been hit with the realization that I'll be finishing my Master's Program this summer. Being the organized, control freak that I am, I also begin to think...then what? Do I continue on into the Ph.D program? Can I even meet the requirements? What about a job? It becomes a mind boggling confused state of "what ifs."
Ph.D program means taking the GRE. YUK! A standardized test that is suppose to reflect whether you will be successful in graduate school. Come on now! I'm already in graduate school carrying a 4.0. Now I have to take on a test that covers high school level algebra, English, etc. I haven't dealt with algebra, geometry, etc. for over 20 years. I don't remember that crap.
So as I get near the end of my Master's Program I need to make some decisions. I meet with my advisor in two weeks to discuss the Ph.D program. We'll see how that goes.
Ph.D program means taking the GRE. YUK! A standardized test that is suppose to reflect whether you will be successful in graduate school. Come on now! I'm already in graduate school carrying a 4.0. Now I have to take on a test that covers high school level algebra, English, etc. I haven't dealt with algebra, geometry, etc. for over 20 years. I don't remember that crap.
So as I get near the end of my Master's Program I need to make some decisions. I meet with my advisor in two weeks to discuss the Ph.D program. We'll see how that goes.
Friday, December 31, 2010
The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly
Today we leave 2010 behind and take a step in the future, 2011. I look back at 2010 to remember the good things that happened, learn from the bad things, and put closure to the ugly things.
THE GOOD - This year I finished my first semester of my Master's program with a 4.0 and entered into my second semester. I took on a new role at work which I really enjoy. My job and the people are great. In May, my husband came home for R&R from Iraq and finally in August was home for good. That was the best part of 2010. We traveled several places this year. My daughter and I traveled to Colorado in July to see one of my childhood friends. Thanks to the power of Facebook I was able to find her and we have been in touch ever since. The family went to Minnesota to watch Vikings play Cowboys. Seeing my Vikings beat Dallas in person was a highlights of 2010. Our trip to California for Thanksgiving was filled with memories as we visited with family, reconnected with old friends, and looked back at my childhood. I saw many good friends from the Fx days and also revisited my grandparents home where I grew up. Kids are doing good in school and are healthy. What more can you ask for? Hubs was finally reunited with his kids this Christmas when they came to visit. All of us had so much fun playing games, rocking out on Rock Band, and opening gifts. Husband and I celebrated our 3rd Anniversary and that in itself is the best part of 2010.
THE BAD - The top spot goes to my daughter who decided to go for a joy ride without a licensed driver and wrecked the truck. Not a fun time but a lesson learned for her. After huge fines, insurance, and a court appearance, she won't being do that again. No one old me the teenage years were the hardest. I've learned a lot about letting go to allow to grow. A very hard lesson to learn.
THE UGLY - the winner is.......hubby's deployment to Iraq. Although it started in 2009, it was still was very definitely present through most of 2010. Sure it could have been a lot worse. It was still ugly and not something you look forward to repeating. Glad it is behind us.
So there you have it. My Good, Bad, Ugly for 2010. As I write this I am realizing that 2010 was a good year. Many more good things happened then bad. Time to move forward into 2011.
THE GOOD - This year I finished my first semester of my Master's program with a 4.0 and entered into my second semester. I took on a new role at work which I really enjoy. My job and the people are great. In May, my husband came home for R&R from Iraq and finally in August was home for good. That was the best part of 2010. We traveled several places this year. My daughter and I traveled to Colorado in July to see one of my childhood friends. Thanks to the power of Facebook I was able to find her and we have been in touch ever since. The family went to Minnesota to watch Vikings play Cowboys. Seeing my Vikings beat Dallas in person was a highlights of 2010. Our trip to California for Thanksgiving was filled with memories as we visited with family, reconnected with old friends, and looked back at my childhood. I saw many good friends from the Fx days and also revisited my grandparents home where I grew up. Kids are doing good in school and are healthy. What more can you ask for? Hubs was finally reunited with his kids this Christmas when they came to visit. All of us had so much fun playing games, rocking out on Rock Band, and opening gifts. Husband and I celebrated our 3rd Anniversary and that in itself is the best part of 2010.
THE BAD - The top spot goes to my daughter who decided to go for a joy ride without a licensed driver and wrecked the truck. Not a fun time but a lesson learned for her. After huge fines, insurance, and a court appearance, she won't being do that again. No one old me the teenage years were the hardest. I've learned a lot about letting go to allow to grow. A very hard lesson to learn.
THE UGLY - the winner is.......hubby's deployment to Iraq. Although it started in 2009, it was still was very definitely present through most of 2010. Sure it could have been a lot worse. It was still ugly and not something you look forward to repeating. Glad it is behind us.
So there you have it. My Good, Bad, Ugly for 2010. As I write this I am realizing that 2010 was a good year. Many more good things happened then bad. Time to move forward into 2011.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Time is Flying
Back again and realize that time has slipped by just like I mentioned in my last blog. There have been several times I have had thoughts to blog about. Yet, I don't have the determination to stop everything and post. It seems my motivation is fleeting. One minute I want to pour out my thoughts and then swoosh, the feeling is gone. So here is a quick summary of my thoughts since I last posted.
Flew out to Cali to visit family for Thanksgiving and reunite with old friends. The plane ride there and back provided these blog thoughts:
Check It at The Curb Damn It!
There should be a flying etiquette book written starting with baggage. If your bag is so heavy and fat that you have to shove it in the overhead then maybe you should have checked it. If the airline offers free baggage check, USE IT! I don't want to be hit in the head with your carry on while you find your seat. Also, I don't want to have to stand and wait to get off the plane while you struggle to get your bag down. I checked mine so I could get off the plane easier. Let me by and you wait.
The Nose Knows
Next chapter, Smells. Don't bring stinky food or use smelly lotions etc. In tight quarters it is nauseating. I don't want to smell your Caesar salad or pepperoni pizza. I also don't want to smell your hand lotion or sanitizer. And leave your shoes on. No one wants to see or smell your bare feet as you prop them up on the seat in front of you. YUK! Your not in your house.
I think people have lost the ability to adjust to group settings and think about others. It is a shame.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Time Keeps on Tick'n
Yeah it's been a while. Why? Because I've been so damn busy. After hubby returned from deployment it has been a whirlwind of activity. School started for the both the kids and I, which also meant that I went back to working 20 hours a week at the university.
Then add the change in family dynamic going from three members back to four. Just scheduling our daily lives between homework, dinner, chores, school activities, is crazy. By the time I realize what's happened the day is over, then a week has past, then two, three and then it's next month.
I thought that this year I would have so much more time: my classes are more manageable; the job allows me to work from home two days a week; and hubby is here to help. Still it seems has if I have less time to get things accomplished.
Maybe as we get older, it seems as if time goes faster. Like sand in an hourglass, towards the end it appears that the sand is falling to the bottom faster than before. Funny how when we want more time, the minutes fly by and when we want something to be over it just drags on and on. As it was during the deployment, long and dragged out. Now that he is back time is fleeting. It worries me sometimes that we'll run out of time. For what, I don't know. Another deployment? A change of some sort? Who knows what is ahead.
Yet, time remains constant. Only 24 hrs in day. No more, no less. Regardless of how we perceive it. So we'll just keep plugg'n along one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
Then add the change in family dynamic going from three members back to four. Just scheduling our daily lives between homework, dinner, chores, school activities, is crazy. By the time I realize what's happened the day is over, then a week has past, then two, three and then it's next month.
I thought that this year I would have so much more time: my classes are more manageable; the job allows me to work from home two days a week; and hubby is here to help. Still it seems has if I have less time to get things accomplished.
Maybe as we get older, it seems as if time goes faster. Like sand in an hourglass, towards the end it appears that the sand is falling to the bottom faster than before. Funny how when we want more time, the minutes fly by and when we want something to be over it just drags on and on. As it was during the deployment, long and dragged out. Now that he is back time is fleeting. It worries me sometimes that we'll run out of time. For what, I don't know. Another deployment? A change of some sort? Who knows what is ahead.
Yet, time remains constant. Only 24 hrs in day. No more, no less. Regardless of how we perceive it. So we'll just keep plugg'n along one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
Friday, August 13, 2010
The End - Deployment Daze 331
IT'S OVER......That's right. Deployment has ended and hubby is home.
Redeployment ceremony was at 4:00 AM last Friday morning...whoa was that early. It was very difficult to get any sleep that night. Just a few moments here and there of dozing off. Nevertheless, kids and I were awake (barely) and ready to end this journey. The ceremony was thankfully very short and we were reunited and headed home within an hour or so.
Since then it has been a whirlwind of activity. We have been out to eat, on the lake, overnight trip to KC, and shopping like crazy. I love that my hubby likes to shop and has great taste in clothing. He is my personal stylist. It has been great having him home. At times it feels like it never happened.
There have been a few adjustments. Finding clothes all over the floor has been an annoying yet comforting addition. I now have to get back into the routine of cooking dinners again and fighting for my place in the bed. Oh and the age old struggle of too hot or too cold. I like it warm, he likes it cold so out come the blankets and sweaters. It's all good though.
Everyone gives advice on the best way to cope with deployment. All I can say is you get through it the best way you can. As in life, everyone is on their own journey. The advice and stories from others are great information, yet didn't always help or apply to me.
"Stay busy and the year will fly by," was probably the number one recommendation. Well I was plenty busy with two teenagers, a part-time job, and graduate school. It didn't make the time go by any faster. It was still approximately one year and it felt like it. In fact, I believe that being busy made it worse. There were times when I was so overwhelmed that it made the loneliness of deployment that much more obvious. So balance is the key. Busy enough not to be bored and lonely, yet not so overwhelmed that you feel like your drowning and no one is there to save you.
I did many things that supposedly you shouldn't do during deployment. I watched the news. Something we were repeatedly told is not a good idea. Well, I'm a fairly intelligent person and I watch the news because I am interested in what is happening in the world. It kept me informed about what was going on. However, I was also not naive enough to think that everything I heard or read was all there was to the story. I pulled information from a variety of sources and discussed with my hubby. I educated myself on the region he was in so that when a story was reported I was able to make a intelligent assessment. For me not knowing is worse so I stayed informed as best I could.
My hubby and I discussed many things. If something was wrong or there were problems, I talked to him about it just like I would have if he was home. I involved him as much as possible so he still felt connected and a part of the family. He would talk to me about things that bothered him. That is how we are and it works for us. I think it helped make the transition home easier. There weren't any surprises. We both knew what we had gone through.
Although I didn't always follow the advice of seasoned spouses or military personnel, I got through it. At times it was very difficult. At times easy. I am thankful that he was stationed on a base where we had constant communication. Thank God for the technology today that allowed us to talk and see each other daily. That, I know, made all the difference in the world.
As for the rest, it's all about knowing you, your soldier, and your family and what fits best within that dynamic. Listen to the advice of others, take what you need and leave the rest. So I end with this to sum up my deployment experience:
Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way
To my honey, Welcome home!
Redeployment ceremony was at 4:00 AM last Friday morning...whoa was that early. It was very difficult to get any sleep that night. Just a few moments here and there of dozing off. Nevertheless, kids and I were awake (barely) and ready to end this journey. The ceremony was thankfully very short and we were reunited and headed home within an hour or so.
Since then it has been a whirlwind of activity. We have been out to eat, on the lake, overnight trip to KC, and shopping like crazy. I love that my hubby likes to shop and has great taste in clothing. He is my personal stylist. It has been great having him home. At times it feels like it never happened.
There have been a few adjustments. Finding clothes all over the floor has been an annoying yet comforting addition. I now have to get back into the routine of cooking dinners again and fighting for my place in the bed. Oh and the age old struggle of too hot or too cold. I like it warm, he likes it cold so out come the blankets and sweaters. It's all good though.
Everyone gives advice on the best way to cope with deployment. All I can say is you get through it the best way you can. As in life, everyone is on their own journey. The advice and stories from others are great information, yet didn't always help or apply to me.
"Stay busy and the year will fly by," was probably the number one recommendation. Well I was plenty busy with two teenagers, a part-time job, and graduate school. It didn't make the time go by any faster. It was still approximately one year and it felt like it. In fact, I believe that being busy made it worse. There were times when I was so overwhelmed that it made the loneliness of deployment that much more obvious. So balance is the key. Busy enough not to be bored and lonely, yet not so overwhelmed that you feel like your drowning and no one is there to save you.
I did many things that supposedly you shouldn't do during deployment. I watched the news. Something we were repeatedly told is not a good idea. Well, I'm a fairly intelligent person and I watch the news because I am interested in what is happening in the world. It kept me informed about what was going on. However, I was also not naive enough to think that everything I heard or read was all there was to the story. I pulled information from a variety of sources and discussed with my hubby. I educated myself on the region he was in so that when a story was reported I was able to make a intelligent assessment. For me not knowing is worse so I stayed informed as best I could.
My hubby and I discussed many things. If something was wrong or there were problems, I talked to him about it just like I would have if he was home. I involved him as much as possible so he still felt connected and a part of the family. He would talk to me about things that bothered him. That is how we are and it works for us. I think it helped make the transition home easier. There weren't any surprises. We both knew what we had gone through.
Although I didn't always follow the advice of seasoned spouses or military personnel, I got through it. At times it was very difficult. At times easy. I am thankful that he was stationed on a base where we had constant communication. Thank God for the technology today that allowed us to talk and see each other daily. That, I know, made all the difference in the world.
As for the rest, it's all about knowing you, your soldier, and your family and what fits best within that dynamic. Listen to the advice of others, take what you need and leave the rest. So I end with this to sum up my deployment experience:
Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way
To my honey, Welcome home!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Only Way Out is Through - Deployment Daze 323
The final day is here. I woke up this morning and immediately checked my email and the virtual FRG site. No changes. No phone calls. Facebook statuses....normal. Everything is going ahead as scheduled. Ran some errands and came home to.....Facebook comments about delays and new calls from Rear-D. Well crap!
So I check the virtual FRG website and my email, sure enough the times had changed. Pushed back another two hours. Disappointing to say the least. Surprising? Not at all. Seems to be a regular occurrence that the flights get delayed some way some how. Still have not received an official phone call notifying me of the new time, and I'm now over half way through the day. Without Facebook I wouldn't have even known there was a change.
Oh well, what's a girl to do?
The best part of the day was hearing from my hubby that he was boarding a plane home. No one can prepare you for how that changes everything. It finally is sinking in that in less than 24 hrs we will be reunited. It is a weird feeling, full of excitement, impatience, anxiety, and stress.
These final hours are pure torture. Checking websites every few minutes. Waiting for phone calls. Hoping you hear something and then praying you don't. I've been told that the only way out is through. So I go through the rest of day knowing that each hour brings me closer to the end.
To my honey, I will see you soon.
So I check the virtual FRG website and my email, sure enough the times had changed. Pushed back another two hours. Disappointing to say the least. Surprising? Not at all. Seems to be a regular occurrence that the flights get delayed some way some how. Still have not received an official phone call notifying me of the new time, and I'm now over half way through the day. Without Facebook I wouldn't have even known there was a change.
Oh well, what's a girl to do?
The best part of the day was hearing from my hubby that he was boarding a plane home. No one can prepare you for how that changes everything. It finally is sinking in that in less than 24 hrs we will be reunited. It is a weird feeling, full of excitement, impatience, anxiety, and stress.
These final hours are pure torture. Checking websites every few minutes. Waiting for phone calls. Hoping you hear something and then praying you don't. I've been told that the only way out is through. So I go through the rest of day knowing that each hour brings me closer to the end.
To my honey, I will see you soon.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
When Is It My Turn? - Deployment Daze 321
Finally!!!! Received the phone call today. The wait has been excruciating. Going into the last week waiting for some type of announcement, email, phone call, anything was driving me nuts. Sure I talked with hubby and had an idea of what to expect. However, getting the official call from "the powers-that-be" makes it real. It is actually happening...and soon!
Wow! This means that I'm close to ending this crazy journey called deployment. It is hard for me to reflect on my experiences over the last year because the last few weeks have skewed my judgement. So I'll save that for another time. Right now, I wait and watch.
Watch the time tick slowly and the calendar days roll by. I've been busy...however that hasn't helped make these last few days any easier. I think this has been the hardest part. It is frustrating to say the least. Knowing that everyone is just waiting...soldier husband waiting for a flight....you waiting for a date and time...watching others celebrate redeployment. I'm happy for them and yet there is that inner child screaming.."I want my turn!" "When is it my turn?" Then I feel guilty for sounding selfish. Whew! The emotions are running from one end of the spectrum to another. Guilt, excitement, anger, sadness, frustration, joy, laughter, humor..they're all here, like one big party in my head.
So I keep busy cleaning so the house looks nice. Getting the dog groomed, boat cleaned, and his truck detailed..oh and the hair, nails, etc. so everything looks good including me. And still the time ticks slowly and the days roll by....
And I... wait... for my turn!
To my honey, Patience is not one of my virtues....
Wow! This means that I'm close to ending this crazy journey called deployment. It is hard for me to reflect on my experiences over the last year because the last few weeks have skewed my judgement. So I'll save that for another time. Right now, I wait and watch.
Watch the time tick slowly and the calendar days roll by. I've been busy...however that hasn't helped make these last few days any easier. I think this has been the hardest part. It is frustrating to say the least. Knowing that everyone is just waiting...soldier husband waiting for a flight....you waiting for a date and time...watching others celebrate redeployment. I'm happy for them and yet there is that inner child screaming.."I want my turn!" "When is it my turn?" Then I feel guilty for sounding selfish. Whew! The emotions are running from one end of the spectrum to another. Guilt, excitement, anger, sadness, frustration, joy, laughter, humor..they're all here, like one big party in my head.
So I keep busy cleaning so the house looks nice. Getting the dog groomed, boat cleaned, and his truck detailed..oh and the hair, nails, etc. so everything looks good including me. And still the time ticks slowly and the days roll by....
And I... wait... for my turn!
To my honey, Patience is not one of my virtues....
Friday, July 30, 2010
Redeployment Delirium - Deployment Daze 317
Don't mess with a woman on the edge! What edge? The edge of redeployment...which also means the edge of insanity. What's wrong with me? I have Redeployment Delirium. It is a form of delirium brought on by the slow torture of waiting for your husband to redeploy home.
Delirium: A temporary state of mental confusion. Characterized by anxiety, disorientation, hallucinations, delusions, and incoherent speech. A state of uncontrolled excitement or emotion.
I have experienced everyone of these symptoms. I was wondering why my words, ringing clear in my head, would get all twisted up and come out a complete mess. I sound like a blabbering idiot have the time.
The closer the possible return date approaches the worse the delirium becomes. Although I don't feel anxious, there is a feeling of tension in the air. I don't know how to explain it, except that there is a change in the energy surrounding me. The kids feel it. The dog senses it. I notice that everyone is just a little on edge. Tempers are shorter, emotions are higher and my dog is acting a fool. It seems like there has been a shift in the cosmic force of the universe.
Of course what has led me to this state of mind is the damn Deployment Curse (Curses). Everyday it is something. Some little thing that doesn't go just right. If this deployment doesn't end soon my husband may have to come visit me in a psych ward (not a crazy house type, but more like a resort/spa type). Add to that the limbo that you are forced to endure as you wait.... and wait.... and wait for this unknown, date and time. Knowing it is getting close, yet not knowing "officially" when. No way to make plans. No way to let anyone know. No wonder we're all going crazy.
Sadly, there is no cure for this ailment. No quick fix. No pill. It is has run it's course. So I face everyday with hope and faith as each one brings me one step closer to the end. Closer to normalcy. Until then..... DON'T MESS WITH A WOMAN ON THE EDGE!!
To my honey, I'll let you know if my address has changed to the "Military Wives Nut House Resort and Spa". When you get off the bus come get me, ok?
Delirium: A temporary state of mental confusion. Characterized by anxiety, disorientation, hallucinations, delusions, and incoherent speech. A state of uncontrolled excitement or emotion.
I have experienced everyone of these symptoms. I was wondering why my words, ringing clear in my head, would get all twisted up and come out a complete mess. I sound like a blabbering idiot have the time.
The closer the possible return date approaches the worse the delirium becomes. Although I don't feel anxious, there is a feeling of tension in the air. I don't know how to explain it, except that there is a change in the energy surrounding me. The kids feel it. The dog senses it. I notice that everyone is just a little on edge. Tempers are shorter, emotions are higher and my dog is acting a fool. It seems like there has been a shift in the cosmic force of the universe.
Of course what has led me to this state of mind is the damn Deployment Curse (Curses). Everyday it is something. Some little thing that doesn't go just right. If this deployment doesn't end soon my husband may have to come visit me in a psych ward (not a crazy house type, but more like a resort/spa type). Add to that the limbo that you are forced to endure as you wait.... and wait.... and wait for this unknown, date and time. Knowing it is getting close, yet not knowing "officially" when. No way to make plans. No way to let anyone know. No wonder we're all going crazy.
Sadly, there is no cure for this ailment. No quick fix. No pill. It is has run it's course. So I face everyday with hope and faith as each one brings me one step closer to the end. Closer to normalcy. Until then..... DON'T MESS WITH A WOMAN ON THE EDGE!!
To my honey, I'll let you know if my address has changed to the "Military Wives Nut House Resort and Spa". When you get off the bus come get me, ok?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Curses - Deployment Daze 313
Have I told you I hate grass? I don't get the love affair out here in the Midwest with huge lawns. They are nothing but a waste. Waste of time, energy and water. See where I come from, lawns, if they exist at all, are small. A tiny patch in the front maybe one in the back with built in sprinkler system. It may take four swipes with a mower. Not here in Kansas. Lawns have to be huge. So I hate grass. And let me add I HATE DEPLOYMENT.
This current confession arises from my battle with the lawn mower yesterday. We have a huge yard to mow which includes a steep hill. Add a deployment which means I'm the lucky one to keep it mowed. Throw in a push mower and you can hear me cursing all the way in Iraq. So I try to avoid and put off as long as possible mowing the yard. Every time it rains I curse the sky for making my grass grow. Well deployment is almost over so I can't avoid it any longer.
When deployment is nearing the end everything changes. You want everything to look nice and things to be in order so your husband doesn't have to deal with it when he gets home. I mean the last thing he is going to want to see is 5 ft high grass when he pulls into the driveway. So out came the lawn mower and off I went. Except after maybe four swipes the lawn mower quits. Great! Like I know how to fix a lawn mower. No one told me to take mechanic lessons before he left. So as I pull and pull and pull the damn cord, my self-talk kicks in and it isn't pretty. Everything related to this deployment takes a hit. With every pull..."Stupid government...." "Dumb (beep) President Bush..." "Why didn't HE leave me a (beep) mower that is easy to use!" "I'm too old for this (beep)." "Come on...give me a (beep) break, will ya?" You get the picture. So I dropped to ground, in the middle of my huge back yard, where everyone can see, flat on my back, face to the sky, arms and legs sprawled out, and cried. "Why?" "What did I do to deserve this?"
STOP right there! Hold On! Don't even think it. I'm not some cry baby. Let me back up a little and clarify. I didn't crumble into a blubbering idiot because of this one incident. No. My voyage towards mental meltdown started two weeks ago. The lawn mowing fiasco is one of many disasters that have hit.
You see, there's one thing that will descend upon you during a deployment. Everyone will warn you about it. They even try to prepare you for it with classes and legal paper work. You laugh it off thinking it won't happen to you. (I did.) But, no one escapes unscathed. It's Murphy's Law....what can go wrong will go wrong. I call it the Deployment Curse.
I had been going along fairly smoothly throughout this deployment. No major incidents. Nothing broken, lost, damaged, falling apart, etc. (Well except for the dog almost dying from chocolate see A Little Luck.) But other than that, nothing! Until now. As we near the end of deployment it seems as the whole world is falling apart. A year's worth of the curse all saved up for the last few weeks. About seven things have happened in past two weeks ranging from a car accident in his truck to a coffee flooded break room. So when the lawn mower decided to die that was it. I could take no more. Went into the house, called a lawn service and scheduled a mowing for this week.
Each day that brings me closer to the end of this thing called deployment also brings a sense of apprehension. What next? Needless to say I can't wait for this deployment to be over and exorcise this curse from our lives.
Did I tell you I hate grass?
To my honey, HURRY UP!!!!!
This current confession arises from my battle with the lawn mower yesterday. We have a huge yard to mow which includes a steep hill. Add a deployment which means I'm the lucky one to keep it mowed. Throw in a push mower and you can hear me cursing all the way in Iraq. So I try to avoid and put off as long as possible mowing the yard. Every time it rains I curse the sky for making my grass grow. Well deployment is almost over so I can't avoid it any longer.
When deployment is nearing the end everything changes. You want everything to look nice and things to be in order so your husband doesn't have to deal with it when he gets home. I mean the last thing he is going to want to see is 5 ft high grass when he pulls into the driveway. So out came the lawn mower and off I went. Except after maybe four swipes the lawn mower quits. Great! Like I know how to fix a lawn mower. No one told me to take mechanic lessons before he left. So as I pull and pull and pull the damn cord, my self-talk kicks in and it isn't pretty. Everything related to this deployment takes a hit. With every pull..."Stupid government...." "Dumb (beep) President Bush..." "Why didn't HE leave me a (beep) mower that is easy to use!" "I'm too old for this (beep)." "Come on...give me a (beep) break, will ya?" You get the picture. So I dropped to ground, in the middle of my huge back yard, where everyone can see, flat on my back, face to the sky, arms and legs sprawled out, and cried. "Why?" "What did I do to deserve this?"
STOP right there! Hold On! Don't even think it. I'm not some cry baby. Let me back up a little and clarify. I didn't crumble into a blubbering idiot because of this one incident. No. My voyage towards mental meltdown started two weeks ago. The lawn mowing fiasco is one of many disasters that have hit.
You see, there's one thing that will descend upon you during a deployment. Everyone will warn you about it. They even try to prepare you for it with classes and legal paper work. You laugh it off thinking it won't happen to you. (I did.) But, no one escapes unscathed. It's Murphy's Law....what can go wrong will go wrong. I call it the Deployment Curse.
I had been going along fairly smoothly throughout this deployment. No major incidents. Nothing broken, lost, damaged, falling apart, etc. (Well except for the dog almost dying from chocolate see A Little Luck.) But other than that, nothing! Until now. As we near the end of deployment it seems as the whole world is falling apart. A year's worth of the curse all saved up for the last few weeks. About seven things have happened in past two weeks ranging from a car accident in his truck to a coffee flooded break room. So when the lawn mower decided to die that was it. I could take no more. Went into the house, called a lawn service and scheduled a mowing for this week.
Each day that brings me closer to the end of this thing called deployment also brings a sense of apprehension. What next? Needless to say I can't wait for this deployment to be over and exorcise this curse from our lives.
Did I tell you I hate grass?
To my honey, HURRY UP!!!!!
Friday, July 23, 2010
I Against I - Deployment Daze 310
Although I would love to be able to say that I was the brilliant mind who wrote the following, I can't. That would be plagiarism. You see, I bought my daughter this book which is part of the series Ghostgirl by Tonya Hurley. She loves the books and is now on the third in the series called Lovesick. Besides the great story, each chapter has a blog written by the character. This particular blog has a lot of meaning for my daughter and I right now. The past few weeks have been extremely difficult. In tribute to my daughter, I share this excerpt from the book with you.
I Against I (from the book Ghostgirl, Lovesick by Tonya Hurley)
We are often so distracted by the internal war between what we want to do and what we have to do that we overlook what we need to do. Not need in the sense of an obligation to others, but in the sense of a compulsion to preserve our own sanity. When doing what others think we should do comes into direct conflict with what our heads or hearts demand, it's time to choose whether our top priority is to please others or to please ourselves.
How do we know that our heart or head is working in our best interest? Sometimes we can be blinded by emotions that don't let us see the big picture. Advice from our family and friends may be better for us then our own distorted view. So how do you know which to choose?
To my honey, I know these last few weeks have been extremely stressful. It seems like everything waited until the end to completely fall apart. Don't worry about us. Although it may seem that we are adrift in the sea of chaos, we will be fine. We have it handled on the home front and eagerly await your return. When you get back you can kick some booty it that makes you feel better. The lake is still way up so it will be interesting fishing this season. I will have the boat pulled and cleaned this week so it is ready when you get home. Love you and see you soon.
I Against I (from the book Ghostgirl, Lovesick by Tonya Hurley)
We are often so distracted by the internal war between what we want to do and what we have to do that we overlook what we need to do. Not need in the sense of an obligation to others, but in the sense of a compulsion to preserve our own sanity. When doing what others think we should do comes into direct conflict with what our heads or hearts demand, it's time to choose whether our top priority is to please others or to please ourselves.
How do we know that our heart or head is working in our best interest? Sometimes we can be blinded by emotions that don't let us see the big picture. Advice from our family and friends may be better for us then our own distorted view. So how do you know which to choose?
To my honey, I know these last few weeks have been extremely stressful. It seems like everything waited until the end to completely fall apart. Don't worry about us. Although it may seem that we are adrift in the sea of chaos, we will be fine. We have it handled on the home front and eagerly await your return. When you get back you can kick some booty it that makes you feel better. The lake is still way up so it will be interesting fishing this season. I will have the boat pulled and cleaned this week so it is ready when you get home. Love you and see you soon.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
One of the Fallen - Deployment Daze 301
Warning: This blog may be shocking or disturbing as it explores dark thoughts or feelings. I open up these thoughts in effort to let in the light so that a beacon may show and lead me out of the depths of hell.
Have you ever felt so at the end that there is no more road to journey on. That no matter how hard you try to do the right thing, be a good person, think about others, somethings comes along that just slaps you down. No matter how many times you keep trying to get up...Wham! your down again. Until you just don't want to get up anymore. Call it karma, fate, bad luck, whatever..it becomes so painful that you stay down, beaten, because you just can do it one more time.
The past 48 hrs have left me in this dark place. As I look around I know in my deepest soul that I am alone. That no one walks this path with me. I know that my journey's path has been forever changed. So changed that I question whether my journey is worth continuing. Life can get so hard that sometimes it feels like it would be easier to not live it. I guess deployment can do that to you.
I never understood the stories about arguments during deployment and how devastating it could be. I was so proud of how we had handled this deployment. My husband and I have hardly argued and we were able to talk about everything. It felt good. I'm now, however, confronted with the reality that deployment doesn't allow for you to survive unscathed. It gets you down and then stands on you until you stop struggling to rise up. Until you beg for mercy. Until you beg to be released from the hell.
I no longer care to rise. I no longer wish to struggle. I am done fighting my way to the end of this journey. I long for the peace of sleep. I beg for release. I am one of the fallen.
Have you ever felt so at the end that there is no more road to journey on. That no matter how hard you try to do the right thing, be a good person, think about others, somethings comes along that just slaps you down. No matter how many times you keep trying to get up...Wham! your down again. Until you just don't want to get up anymore. Call it karma, fate, bad luck, whatever..it becomes so painful that you stay down, beaten, because you just can do it one more time.
The past 48 hrs have left me in this dark place. As I look around I know in my deepest soul that I am alone. That no one walks this path with me. I know that my journey's path has been forever changed. So changed that I question whether my journey is worth continuing. Life can get so hard that sometimes it feels like it would be easier to not live it. I guess deployment can do that to you.
I never understood the stories about arguments during deployment and how devastating it could be. I was so proud of how we had handled this deployment. My husband and I have hardly argued and we were able to talk about everything. It felt good. I'm now, however, confronted with the reality that deployment doesn't allow for you to survive unscathed. It gets you down and then stands on you until you stop struggling to rise up. Until you beg for mercy. Until you beg to be released from the hell.
I no longer care to rise. I no longer wish to struggle. I am done fighting my way to the end of this journey. I long for the peace of sleep. I beg for release. I am one of the fallen.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
A Little Blasé - Deployment Daze 294
I received a notice from USPS today to come pick up a package. I knew that this was the two boxes that my soldier husband had sent home. Boxes full of stuff that made life more bearable in the sandbox. He has moved to tent city which means redeployment is nearing. Exciting right? One would think so and yet...I'm blasé. So what exactly does that mean?
Blasé - having indulged so much as to be unexcited, satiated,bored, indifferent
That says it all. I just want it done. I'm tired of my life revolving around this all consuming event. There is just nothing left to give to this thing call deployment. No more tears, frustration, excitement, anticipation, joy, or any other emotion.
So as I look towards redeployment, I struggle to find the sense of excitement that would seem appropriate for such an occasion. For me it is just one more thing between me and my man. I want to fast forward to the moment when I get to walk away with my husband and our life is not dictated by time zones, Internet speed, missions and missed phone calls. When our moments together aren't crushed by the overloaded bandwidth and inconvenient dropped connections. Which of course happens at the most critical moments.
Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to celebrate! Just not within clutches of the beast. I've had my fill of deployment and I'm ready to move on. Ready to throw a party! Just me, him and the kids. And...Deployment is not invited.
To my honey, as we near the final moments all I can think of is the drive home. While other envision running and jumping into their spouses arms, I think about how I can snatch you from the evil beast and run away with you. I wonder," Would they notice?" "How much trouble would we be in?" I guess it is ok to fantasize. I know for you it is different. I understand the importance of coming home and having the closure that only a redeployment ceremony can bring you. And because of its importance to your transition from one world to the other, I will share you if only for a brief moment. After that you're ALL MINE!
Blasé - having indulged so much as to be unexcited, satiated,bored, indifferent
That says it all. I just want it done. I'm tired of my life revolving around this all consuming event. There is just nothing left to give to this thing call deployment. No more tears, frustration, excitement, anticipation, joy, or any other emotion.
So as I look towards redeployment, I struggle to find the sense of excitement that would seem appropriate for such an occasion. For me it is just one more thing between me and my man. I want to fast forward to the moment when I get to walk away with my husband and our life is not dictated by time zones, Internet speed, missions and missed phone calls. When our moments together aren't crushed by the overloaded bandwidth and inconvenient dropped connections. Which of course happens at the most critical moments.
Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to celebrate! Just not within clutches of the beast. I've had my fill of deployment and I'm ready to move on. Ready to throw a party! Just me, him and the kids. And...Deployment is not invited.
To my honey, as we near the final moments all I can think of is the drive home. While other envision running and jumping into their spouses arms, I think about how I can snatch you from the evil beast and run away with you. I wonder," Would they notice?" "How much trouble would we be in?" I guess it is ok to fantasize. I know for you it is different. I understand the importance of coming home and having the closure that only a redeployment ceremony can bring you. And because of its importance to your transition from one world to the other, I will share you if only for a brief moment. After that you're ALL MINE!
Monday, June 28, 2010
It's In The Stars - Deployment Daze 285
So I haven't posted in a while. Because I have been buried in school work for this damn Master's degree that I decided to pursue. You know you're in trouble when the teacher tells you that a 12 week course is going to be crammed into 4 weeks without modification. So view every day as one week's worth of time. Seriously??!!! So that is how my June has started and it still going until July 2nd. Oh did I mention I have two classes this summer. WTH was I thinking?
Anyway, I have a brief moment in time to mentally relax my mind so I pick up this book I was given called You Astrology Guide to 2010. It's from my mom. I open up to June and read, "On a grand scale, your life is being propelled forward and outward, yet you might feel so overwhelmed that you want to go into hiding or flee to a spiritual retreat." (I just started laughing) You know one of those maniacal laughs of a person going mad. Since I'm already finished with June that warning note is a little late. I guess I should have read this before June happened. I wonder, "Would it have influenced my decisions?"
That got me thinking, Is our life predestined? The map laid out in the stars when we were born? How much influence do we have in changing our course or are our decisions just leading us to the inevitable? If we studied our path would we make better choices and avoid pitfalls. If I had read the book before making my decision about summer courses would it have changed my choices? Or maybe it is not until we have experienced something that we realize the impact of our choices. Hindsight is 20/20.
Well, this class from hell is winding down. One more week and then it will just be one class which is a little lighter and more manageable. Hopefully, I will be able to enjoy my summer and get ready for the return of my soldier husband. I'm going to be looking at July. Hopefully it talks about a lot of rest and relaxation.
To my honey, I know we haven't had much time to interact. I miss you a whole bunch. In a month you should be here and we can enjoy some fun in the sun. The boat is waiting and wipers will be popp'n. My book says that I will fall in love hard and fast with someone who suddenly apears in my life on August 7. Hmmm! Maybe the stars know more than the US Army.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Anyway, I have a brief moment in time to mentally relax my mind so I pick up this book I was given called You Astrology Guide to 2010. It's from my mom. I open up to June and read, "On a grand scale, your life is being propelled forward and outward, yet you might feel so overwhelmed that you want to go into hiding or flee to a spiritual retreat." (I just started laughing) You know one of those maniacal laughs of a person going mad. Since I'm already finished with June that warning note is a little late. I guess I should have read this before June happened. I wonder, "Would it have influenced my decisions?"
That got me thinking, Is our life predestined? The map laid out in the stars when we were born? How much influence do we have in changing our course or are our decisions just leading us to the inevitable? If we studied our path would we make better choices and avoid pitfalls. If I had read the book before making my decision about summer courses would it have changed my choices? Or maybe it is not until we have experienced something that we realize the impact of our choices. Hindsight is 20/20.
Well, this class from hell is winding down. One more week and then it will just be one class which is a little lighter and more manageable. Hopefully, I will be able to enjoy my summer and get ready for the return of my soldier husband. I'm going to be looking at July. Hopefully it talks about a lot of rest and relaxation.
To my honey, I know we haven't had much time to interact. I miss you a whole bunch. In a month you should be here and we can enjoy some fun in the sun. The boat is waiting and wipers will be popp'n. My book says that I will fall in love hard and fast with someone who suddenly apears in my life on August 7. Hmmm! Maybe the stars know more than the US Army.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Oil That Is
I'm not one to rant much about politics or current event situations. Mostly because, there is always more to the story then is usually provided by the media or anyone else for that matter. As a Communications major I learned a long time ago that any information can be spun to portray anything you want. There are two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in the middle. Let's face it! Unless you're actually involved in the situation you truly don't know what's happening.
Which brings me to this big mess in the Gulf. Damn! Another oil spill. I remember when the Exxon Valdez spewed oil all over the ocean up by Alaska. I chopped up my credit card and haven't used Exxon gas since. So there is no argument that this is a huge mess. Many people screwed up and many people and wildlife will suffer. That's the facts. What I have trouble with is this idea that the head of BP should resign, be fired or step down. That he and his company should not be dealing with the clean up. What the hell?! I think he should be the one cleaning up the mess. Having him quit, resign, whatever is allowing him to just step away. Giving him the easy out. No way!
I was always taught when you make a mistake, you admit it. You clean up the mess, make amends, whatever it takes. But in today's world it seems that isn't the case. Everyone wants to gripe, complain, blame, etc. I give BP and it's leader some credit for owning up and staying in there to fix it. They have a long hard road ahead. But someone has to take the first steps.
Which brings me to this big mess in the Gulf. Damn! Another oil spill. I remember when the Exxon Valdez spewed oil all over the ocean up by Alaska. I chopped up my credit card and haven't used Exxon gas since. So there is no argument that this is a huge mess. Many people screwed up and many people and wildlife will suffer. That's the facts. What I have trouble with is this idea that the head of BP should resign, be fired or step down. That he and his company should not be dealing with the clean up. What the hell?! I think he should be the one cleaning up the mess. Having him quit, resign, whatever is allowing him to just step away. Giving him the easy out. No way!
I was always taught when you make a mistake, you admit it. You clean up the mess, make amends, whatever it takes. But in today's world it seems that isn't the case. Everyone wants to gripe, complain, blame, etc. I give BP and it's leader some credit for owning up and staying in there to fix it. They have a long hard road ahead. But someone has to take the first steps.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
It Is What It Is - Deployment Daze 253
When is good enough, good enough? Why is it so impossible for people to enjoy the successes? Why can't a happy moment be just that? And when did 100% mean that you weren't working to your potential? REALLY??
I said in my description that my life is a roller coaster ride. Well here is the drop after reaching the top. I can't believe that no matter how much you do or how hard you work, it is never good enough. That moments of success are met with either negativity or criticism. The worse part is, it's from those closest to you.
Nothing is ever good enough. There is always something that has to be improved upon. Always something that needs to be solved. Why? I don't know. Probably because they have nothing better to do?
Well I'm done. 100% is what it is. 4.0 GPA is what it is. Success is what it is. Working your ass off so other can enjoy..well....If you don't think it is good enough then too bad. It is what it is!
I said in my description that my life is a roller coaster ride. Well here is the drop after reaching the top. I can't believe that no matter how much you do or how hard you work, it is never good enough. That moments of success are met with either negativity or criticism. The worse part is, it's from those closest to you.
Nothing is ever good enough. There is always something that has to be improved upon. Always something that needs to be solved. Why? I don't know. Probably because they have nothing better to do?
Well I'm done. 100% is what it is. 4.0 GPA is what it is. Success is what it is. Working your ass off so other can enjoy..well....If you don't think it is good enough then too bad. It is what it is!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
In Amazement - Deployment Daze 252
I have had the most amazing day ever! To say it was perfect is an understatement. It is amazing how the little things can make a day. I had a blast from the past and look to the future. Today I found a long lost friend and my son was recognized by the president. How cool is that?
I found my BFF from childhood today on Facebook and we got to talk. I can't believe it. It had been almost 30 years since we seen each other last. The wonders of technology. It was so much fun. Planning on going to visit her this summer.
This afternoon, my daughter and I attended my son's 5th grade graduation. I can't believe he will be in middle school next year. Well, we're sitting there enjoying the ceremony. Listening to the various awards being handed out to him and other students. The kids sang some songs and there was a cute presentation of all the activities from the whole year. It was a great ceremony. As it was coming close to the end, the principal announces that they are presenting the President's Award for Educational Excellence. She explained the criteria and described the certificate signed by the President of the United States. I'm thinking to myself that is pretty cool. As she reads the names the audience is applauding. Then she says my son's name. I'm amazed. Not that he isn't capable but just the honor of it. We were so proud. He received a signed letter, certificate an pin. What a great surprise.
As I was taking it all in, I was so thankful and appreciative. I am thankful for the school, teachers, and principal. I don't think people realize how big of a role they play in helping a child be successful. My son excelled because of the school he was at. I wish that all kids could have that opportunity. I wish that education wasn't no low on most people's and the nation's priority list.
In addition he had a strong support system at home that emphasizes school comes first and rewards hard work and success. Is it easy? No! It takes a lot of work, to keep up with grades, homework, helping to study, enforcing consequences, and the list goes on. I wish that all kids could have that as well.
To my honey, I really missed you today. It really emphasizes your absence when great things happen and I can't share them with you. Oh how I had wanted you to be at the graduation today. You would have been so proud. Of course, M, had the audience rolling. All the kids just couldn't stop saying how awesome M is. Especially the little ones. I know I have bitched about KS and especially JC, but I have to admit it has been a blessing for the kids. I'm realizing that sometimes there is a rose among the thorns. You are the best man ever and I love you with all my heart. Oh by the way, I would like to go to CO to visit my friend.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I found my BFF from childhood today on Facebook and we got to talk. I can't believe it. It had been almost 30 years since we seen each other last. The wonders of technology. It was so much fun. Planning on going to visit her this summer.
This afternoon, my daughter and I attended my son's 5th grade graduation. I can't believe he will be in middle school next year. Well, we're sitting there enjoying the ceremony. Listening to the various awards being handed out to him and other students. The kids sang some songs and there was a cute presentation of all the activities from the whole year. It was a great ceremony. As it was coming close to the end, the principal announces that they are presenting the President's Award for Educational Excellence. She explained the criteria and described the certificate signed by the President of the United States. I'm thinking to myself that is pretty cool. As she reads the names the audience is applauding. Then she says my son's name. I'm amazed. Not that he isn't capable but just the honor of it. We were so proud. He received a signed letter, certificate an pin. What a great surprise.
As I was taking it all in, I was so thankful and appreciative. I am thankful for the school, teachers, and principal. I don't think people realize how big of a role they play in helping a child be successful. My son excelled because of the school he was at. I wish that all kids could have that opportunity. I wish that education wasn't no low on most people's and the nation's priority list.
In addition he had a strong support system at home that emphasizes school comes first and rewards hard work and success. Is it easy? No! It takes a lot of work, to keep up with grades, homework, helping to study, enforcing consequences, and the list goes on. I wish that all kids could have that as well.
To my honey, I really missed you today. It really emphasizes your absence when great things happen and I can't share them with you. Oh how I had wanted you to be at the graduation today. You would have been so proud. Of course, M, had the audience rolling. All the kids just couldn't stop saying how awesome M is. Especially the little ones. I know I have bitched about KS and especially JC, but I have to admit it has been a blessing for the kids. I'm realizing that sometimes there is a rose among the thorns. You are the best man ever and I love you with all my heart. Oh by the way, I would like to go to CO to visit my friend.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Monday, May 24, 2010
Some Day We'll Laugh - Deployment Daze 250
It's the end of the school year and as with every other school year the kids bring home folders full of school work that they have completed. Confession time. I don't keep everything. If I did I would be buried under mountains of paper. Oh the trees that have been sacrificed in the name of education. Anyway, today was the day that it all came home.
As I was sifting through the stack, I came across stories that my son had wrote. I was intrigued by their titles so I read them. I was rolling on the floor laughing almost to the point of tears. The humor and creativity amazed me. Not to mention his unique viewpoint on things that had actually taken place. You see none of the stories were fictional. Each one was a narrative about something that had truly happened. At the time these stories took place it wasn't funny. Looking back now, they are hysterical. I guess that is how life is. Sometimes you just have to say, "Someday we'll look back and laugh."
Here is one of those stories: (Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent)
The Fight That Apparently Needed a Call to 911
It was at my old house, my step-sister (Lil Sis), and my step-brother (Lil Bro) were visiting. We were all sitting on the couch when my mom and step-dad announced that they were going out to a fancy restaurant to eat dinner. They told us we needed to be good, that is the typical parent, so we nodded our heads and went our separate ways. My biological sister (Big sis)went to the computer, Lil Bro and I went up stairs to play LEGOS and Lil Sis went to her room...but not for long.
Lil Bro and I were playing LEGOS when Lil Sis came into our room. "Can I play?" she asked. I said, "Sure as long as you don't ruin a ship or destroy the town." She nodded her head and sat down. She grabbed the only girl LEGO person and started to walk around. She went to Lil Bro's character (who was the mechanic) and asked, "Can you build me a ship?" He replied, "Sue it will cost $400 dollars." They haggled and she paid $300. Her ship was built and she flew it around. That's when things went horribly wrong.
She flew it around too fast and the ship slipped out of her hands and hit Lil Bro right in the face. Lil Bro had anger issues and he struck her in the mouth. This progressed violently. They headed towards the stairs and they went down all 27 steps, falling and trampling over each other. I was in front of them so I had to run down the steps trying not to get trampled. I felt like Indiana Jones trying to get away from the boulder that I triggered. When Big Sis heard the fighting she came over and broke it up. Lil Sis was really irate, and stormed to her room. Lil Bro took a lot of damage but nothing serious. Lil Sis attempted to call her dad but apparently dialed 911 and Big Sis got a call.
"Ma'am how old are you" said the 911 operator."
"Who is this?" requested Big Sis.
"This is the police!"
"WHAT?"
"Ma'am calm down, we received a call from your house. So what is your name and how old are you?"
Big Sis gave them the information. After she hung up she called everyone into the living room with her loud strident voice. "Who called 911?!" Lil Sis came forward and confessed. Big Sis said in a strict voice, "I'm going to call you father!"
Lil Sis begged, whined and moaned not to. When step-dad came home he was red as blood. "YOU DID WHAT?" he yelled. Lil Bro and I were upstairs trying not to laugh. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!" he yelled again. I heard Lil Sis small voice say, "I tried to call you."
I heard them talking. When they got to the part about the fight he called us down stairs and I whispered, "Good Luck." it was a good thing I came down since I was a bystander and saw everything. I told step-dad what happened. He didn't like it.
It was a long night, and after everything was sorted out we went to bed. The next day Lil Bro and Lil Sis had to hold hands and "like" each other until step-dad was satisfied.
To my honey, I know you remember this event. It is funny now that we are looking back. There are many of those interesting moments that we share and I know that there will be many more. I guess that is what they mean by don't take life too seriously. I can't imagine sharing those moments with anybody else. Love you with all my heart.
Play Safe, Play Smart
As I was sifting through the stack, I came across stories that my son had wrote. I was intrigued by their titles so I read them. I was rolling on the floor laughing almost to the point of tears. The humor and creativity amazed me. Not to mention his unique viewpoint on things that had actually taken place. You see none of the stories were fictional. Each one was a narrative about something that had truly happened. At the time these stories took place it wasn't funny. Looking back now, they are hysterical. I guess that is how life is. Sometimes you just have to say, "Someday we'll look back and laugh."
Here is one of those stories: (Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent)
The Fight That Apparently Needed a Call to 911
It was at my old house, my step-sister (Lil Sis), and my step-brother (Lil Bro) were visiting. We were all sitting on the couch when my mom and step-dad announced that they were going out to a fancy restaurant to eat dinner. They told us we needed to be good, that is the typical parent, so we nodded our heads and went our separate ways. My biological sister (Big sis)went to the computer, Lil Bro and I went up stairs to play LEGOS and Lil Sis went to her room...but not for long.
Lil Bro and I were playing LEGOS when Lil Sis came into our room. "Can I play?" she asked. I said, "Sure as long as you don't ruin a ship or destroy the town." She nodded her head and sat down. She grabbed the only girl LEGO person and started to walk around. She went to Lil Bro's character (who was the mechanic) and asked, "Can you build me a ship?" He replied, "Sue it will cost $400 dollars." They haggled and she paid $300. Her ship was built and she flew it around. That's when things went horribly wrong.
She flew it around too fast and the ship slipped out of her hands and hit Lil Bro right in the face. Lil Bro had anger issues and he struck her in the mouth. This progressed violently. They headed towards the stairs and they went down all 27 steps, falling and trampling over each other. I was in front of them so I had to run down the steps trying not to get trampled. I felt like Indiana Jones trying to get away from the boulder that I triggered. When Big Sis heard the fighting she came over and broke it up. Lil Sis was really irate, and stormed to her room. Lil Bro took a lot of damage but nothing serious. Lil Sis attempted to call her dad but apparently dialed 911 and Big Sis got a call.
"Ma'am how old are you" said the 911 operator."
"Who is this?" requested Big Sis.
"This is the police!"
"WHAT?"
"Ma'am calm down, we received a call from your house. So what is your name and how old are you?"
Big Sis gave them the information. After she hung up she called everyone into the living room with her loud strident voice. "Who called 911?!" Lil Sis came forward and confessed. Big Sis said in a strict voice, "I'm going to call you father!"
Lil Sis begged, whined and moaned not to. When step-dad came home he was red as blood. "YOU DID WHAT?" he yelled. Lil Bro and I were upstairs trying not to laugh. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!" he yelled again. I heard Lil Sis small voice say, "I tried to call you."
I heard them talking. When they got to the part about the fight he called us down stairs and I whispered, "Good Luck." it was a good thing I came down since I was a bystander and saw everything. I told step-dad what happened. He didn't like it.
It was a long night, and after everything was sorted out we went to bed. The next day Lil Bro and Lil Sis had to hold hands and "like" each other until step-dad was satisfied.
To my honey, I know you remember this event. It is funny now that we are looking back. There are many of those interesting moments that we share and I know that there will be many more. I guess that is what they mean by don't take life too seriously. I can't imagine sharing those moments with anybody else. Love you with all my heart.
Play Safe, Play Smart
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