Itchy Sweater - Deployment Daze 66

Number 1 baby! That's right I am sitting in first place in fantasy football. Thanks to the guys who won when they needed to and beat my competition. Couldn't have done it without you.


This week I have been a bit overwhelmed with all the little things. I have my two final projects due for class in December. Feeling the pressure to get them started. Also, trying to get appointments scheduled for dentist, eyes, etc. before the end of the year. Just seems like the days go by too fast to get everything accomplished. Yet at the same time the days drag in relation to deployment. It doesn't seem like we're any closer to him coming home.

I pulled out all of the Christmas decorations and started decorating the tree and house. It is a much more scaled down version then when the man is home. I put up a small bunch of lights outside with the help of a neighbor. The difficulties of being short, you know. There are only a handful of decorations around the house. The tree is the only thing that is getting the normal attention. This year it is a Red, White and Blue theme to show our patriotism. Mini-Brian will be the tree topper. It is coming along. The kids and I should have it finished by Sunday. I love Christmas and decorating. So why am I not in a good mood. I should be happy. I'm not. I'm pissed. What's my problem?

I'm getting to the end of my patience with this whole deployment thing. It irritates me. Like an itchy sweater. You know, the longer you wear it the more irritating it becomes and then anger sets in. You just want to rip the sweater off. Well, what do you do when you can't take the sweater off? Your skin is raw from the irritation and there is no relief. You know the sweater will come off eventually, but that doesn't really matter. It's not only the sweater itself, but when you have to wear it that is the most irritating. Going through this deployment now is like wearing the itchy sweater during the hottest part of summer. Completely unbearable. It's frustrating to not celebrate, your birthday, Thanksgiving, Anniversary, Christmas, son's birthday or daughter's Sweet 16 like you normally would. It is especially irritating because all the events happen with a couple of weeks of each other. So it is a constant reminder that I'm missing out on the things that bring me joy. That even though those events take place there is something wrong, something irritating. A reminder that I'm wearing a damn itchy sweater.

To my honey, as the kids and I decorated the tree, I realized how important you are to us. Your absence leaves a large void. Christmas just won't be the same without you. No lights on the roof. No one to bring up the boxes from the basement. No one to put the ornaments up high on the tree. Just kidding! I really do miss your company. We would have so much fun shopping for the kids. Arguing about how the lights should look on the outside of the house. Opening up our anniversary gifts on Christmas Eve. Oh! and spending way too much on more Christmas ornaments that we don't need. All because we want to do a different theme for the tree. Wish you could come home soon.

Play Safe, Play Smart