Christmas my favorite time of year. The lights, decorations, songs..it all makes me happy. I would have thought this year would be different. My husband deployed to Iraq and my kids visiting their dad, this would be the first Christmas I would be 100% by myself. Many people felt sorry for me and were saddened that I would have a "lonely" Christmas. Strangely enough it wasn't that bad.
Christmas this year was all about me. I enjoyed sleeping in, watching movies, not cooking, doing whatever I want, whenever I want. Some would say that was selfish, not right for Christmas when it should be about giving to others. PHOOEE!! I say it was about self-preservation. Everyone needs time for themselves to relax, refresh, recharge. And that's what I did. No pressures to be somewhere, to do something, to get this done or that done. It was my time.
Would it have been nice to have my husband home and celebrate Christmas like we normally do? YEAH! But that is not reality so you make the best out of what you got.
So I enjoyed my time. It was like being on a spa retreat only I was at my house.
And truthfully I wasn't completely alone. I spent Christmas Eve and Day with my husband via Skype. I received many Holiday wishes from my Facebook Friends and family. I was able to reminisce with my CA friends. I will open gifts with my kids in the next couple of days. So my Christmas was not the tragic drama one would imagine.
To my honey, I love all my gifts for Christmas and our anniversary. The Iraqi crystal is gorgeous and so is the emerald necklace. My absolute favorite though is the ruby pendant you had personally designed by Zales. You won't be able to top that one..although you can try. I ventured out today after the snow had stopped. The roads were completely clear. I was shocked. I think we need to invest in a snow blower. I'm tired of shoveling snow. Love You!
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
A Little Luck - Deployment Daze 94
Life is an interesting ride. One minute it's happy and next tragic. Those twists and turns, not knowing what's around the bend definitely make it exciting. I guess excitement can be both happy and tragic. Our moments in life that are fun provide us with excitement that we enjoy and want to repeat. The tragic moments provide a different kind of excitement. Scary! Not something we care to repeat but exciting none the less. The past few days, I have had a little of both.
I went to see the movie Avatar with my son this weekend. The movie was great and my son could not stop talking about it. He wants to read the book and on and on. The movie was very inspiring with a great life message. We finished the night with dinner and headed home. Walk in the door and the whole night took on a completely different level of excitement. My 20lb dog had eaten a bar of chocolate. Not one of those normal bars but one of those huge, 6.8 oz bars, of Hershey's Special Dark. Well if you know anything about dogs, chocolate is dangerous. So my life ride that evening took a hard left turn towards tragedy.
Emergency visit to the local vet ensued. As I'm cradling my baby in my arms, the vet administers; shots to make him throw up, IV drip to start fluids, and two huge syringes of black liquid goo (activated charcoal) forced fed down his throat. My dog is completely terrified and puking. I'm crying. This is the moment when I truly felt the loneliness of deployment. No one by my side to provide comfort and support. No calming force or strength. I truly was half of a whole. From the vet it was to the vet hospital ICU for overnight observation and more treatments. I was not having fun on this ride! Then the long ride home, full of tears, fears and prayers.
The next day brought some good news. Prognosis on my dog was that he was doing well and should be able to come later that day. In addition, my fantasy football which I was predicted to lose was also turning around. My ride had turned the corner.
My dog came home last night and we are all happy he is back. This was a ride that could have ended tragically. Thankfully it didn't. Unfortunately my fantasy football was not so lucky. With the poor performance by the Vikings, my reign as leader, has ended. I am out.
So what determines the excitement one gets to experience in life? Are we randomly thrown into twists and turns on this ride? And what determines whether the outcome is happy or the tragic? Fate, Karma, Destiny, or Luck?
For me, I'm feeling a little lucky.
To my honey, I truly felt your absence this weekend. Without you, I am only a part of the whole. I miss your strength and toughness. I love you very much. It seems like forever until you will get to come home. Still holding down the fort, barely.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I went to see the movie Avatar with my son this weekend. The movie was great and my son could not stop talking about it. He wants to read the book and on and on. The movie was very inspiring with a great life message. We finished the night with dinner and headed home. Walk in the door and the whole night took on a completely different level of excitement. My 20lb dog had eaten a bar of chocolate. Not one of those normal bars but one of those huge, 6.8 oz bars, of Hershey's Special Dark. Well if you know anything about dogs, chocolate is dangerous. So my life ride that evening took a hard left turn towards tragedy.
Emergency visit to the local vet ensued. As I'm cradling my baby in my arms, the vet administers; shots to make him throw up, IV drip to start fluids, and two huge syringes of black liquid goo (activated charcoal) forced fed down his throat. My dog is completely terrified and puking. I'm crying. This is the moment when I truly felt the loneliness of deployment. No one by my side to provide comfort and support. No calming force or strength. I truly was half of a whole. From the vet it was to the vet hospital ICU for overnight observation and more treatments. I was not having fun on this ride! Then the long ride home, full of tears, fears and prayers.
The next day brought some good news. Prognosis on my dog was that he was doing well and should be able to come later that day. In addition, my fantasy football which I was predicted to lose was also turning around. My ride had turned the corner.
My dog came home last night and we are all happy he is back. This was a ride that could have ended tragically. Thankfully it didn't. Unfortunately my fantasy football was not so lucky. With the poor performance by the Vikings, my reign as leader, has ended. I am out.
So what determines the excitement one gets to experience in life? Are we randomly thrown into twists and turns on this ride? And what determines whether the outcome is happy or the tragic? Fate, Karma, Destiny, or Luck?
For me, I'm feeling a little lucky.
To my honey, I truly felt your absence this weekend. Without you, I am only a part of the whole. I miss your strength and toughness. I love you very much. It seems like forever until you will get to come home. Still holding down the fort, barely.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, December 12, 2009
The Future Looking Back - Deployment Daze 87
I read a friends blog today about self-reflection. You know those times when you take an inventory of who you are , where you've been, where you're going. Questions arise in your mind, "What if...?" Did I make the right choice back then? Should I've done that instead of this? Sometimes we are ashamed of our choices, sometimes we realize we made the wrong choice, sometimes we don't like the person we see staring back at us.
I think it is life's natural process for us to go through a personal inventory. It nature's way of having us metamorphous into our next stage. Similar to the phoenix who at the end stage burns up in flames only to rise from the ashes reborn. Looking back I can identify several times in my life that have been my phoenix moments. There was a time when these moments created a great deal of stress and depression. It led to difficulty making decisions for fear of what would happen if...It was always about how is this going to affect my life and those around me tomorrow, a year, 5 yrs, 10 yrs. It was driving me crazy.
Then I came across this video, Where Will You Be? by Bright Careers. Although it is about careers and the Chaos Theory, the message can be applied to life in general. It brought me clarity and validation to my life. It made me realize that some of those decisions I made in my past were not bad decisions at all. That the decisions I made were the best ones for me at the time that I made them. It was what I needed to do at that moment in those circumstances.
Now don't get me wrong, I have made some GREAT!!! decisions. As I get older, I am more sure of the decisions I make. It seems like there is less pressure. Maybe because when you're old there is not as much time left to suffer the consequences, lol. Nonetheless, reality is that if you truly self-evaluate you will find times that you aren't proud of. All I have come to realize is it ain't all that bad. And that those so called bad decisions were actually great decisions that probably ended up working out for the best.
So if your reading this watch the video. It might make things a little lighter.
To my honey, I love you and miss you bunches. Christmas just isn't the same. It is extremely cold here and snowed like crazy. I've been using 4w drive on the truck to get around. Looking back I am so glad that my path has led to you. It has made every heartache and painful experience worth it. It would have been nice to fast forward and skip some, but then the end result would not have been the same.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I think it is life's natural process for us to go through a personal inventory. It nature's way of having us metamorphous into our next stage. Similar to the phoenix who at the end stage burns up in flames only to rise from the ashes reborn. Looking back I can identify several times in my life that have been my phoenix moments. There was a time when these moments created a great deal of stress and depression. It led to difficulty making decisions for fear of what would happen if...It was always about how is this going to affect my life and those around me tomorrow, a year, 5 yrs, 10 yrs. It was driving me crazy.
Then I came across this video, Where Will You Be? by Bright Careers. Although it is about careers and the Chaos Theory, the message can be applied to life in general. It brought me clarity and validation to my life. It made me realize that some of those decisions I made in my past were not bad decisions at all. That the decisions I made were the best ones for me at the time that I made them. It was what I needed to do at that moment in those circumstances.
Now don't get me wrong, I have made some GREAT!!! decisions. As I get older, I am more sure of the decisions I make. It seems like there is less pressure. Maybe because when you're old there is not as much time left to suffer the consequences, lol. Nonetheless, reality is that if you truly self-evaluate you will find times that you aren't proud of. All I have come to realize is it ain't all that bad. And that those so called bad decisions were actually great decisions that probably ended up working out for the best.
So if your reading this watch the video. It might make things a little lighter.
To my honey, I love you and miss you bunches. Christmas just isn't the same. It is extremely cold here and snowed like crazy. I've been using 4w drive on the truck to get around. Looking back I am so glad that my path has led to you. It has made every heartache and painful experience worth it. It would have been nice to fast forward and skip some, but then the end result would not have been the same.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, December 5, 2009
School Crazy - Deployment Daze 80
Two more weeks and schools out....Yeah!!! It is wonderful in so many ways. No classes, no work. Nothing but R&R. The past week has been stressful. A college campus is not the place to be as Christmas approaches. Too many stressed out individuals. I feel the pain as well. My final project and paper had me at wits end. Now that I have completed that assignment I can focus on enjoying the Christmas season.
I had the best weekend. A trip to Topeka for a day of shopping with my best bud was a welcome relief. I think I have been too secluded and locked up. Completely focused on school and nothing else. I did not have enough time at the mall to really get my fix, so weather permitting, I'll have to take another trip to the city.
My weekend was dampened a little by Steelers and Vikings loss in football. Not to mention I may lose this week in fantasy football. I was doing so well. C'es la vie. Luckily I will still be ranked number one and going to the playoffs. It's so much fun to beat a bunch of guys.
Christmas is fast approaching and it will be an interesting end to the year. I do believe this will be a year I am glad to see pass.
To my honey, the weather is getting cold and snowy here. I had a great time shopping. Thank you for the wonderful coat. I sent you a package of goodies. Mason started soccer and loves it. His coaches are tough so he will learn a lot. They focus on ball handling and control. We all miss you. Tux doesn't like going outside anymore so we have to wrap him up in a sweater and coat to keep him warm.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I had the best weekend. A trip to Topeka for a day of shopping with my best bud was a welcome relief. I think I have been too secluded and locked up. Completely focused on school and nothing else. I did not have enough time at the mall to really get my fix, so weather permitting, I'll have to take another trip to the city.
My weekend was dampened a little by Steelers and Vikings loss in football. Not to mention I may lose this week in fantasy football. I was doing so well. C'es la vie. Luckily I will still be ranked number one and going to the playoffs. It's so much fun to beat a bunch of guys.
Christmas is fast approaching and it will be an interesting end to the year. I do believe this will be a year I am glad to see pass.
To my honey, the weather is getting cold and snowy here. I had a great time shopping. Thank you for the wonderful coat. I sent you a package of goodies. Mason started soccer and loves it. His coaches are tough so he will learn a lot. They focus on ball handling and control. We all miss you. Tux doesn't like going outside anymore so we have to wrap him up in a sweater and coat to keep him warm.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Holiday Cheer - Deployment Daze 74
The holidays are here and it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I have had moments of sadness, anger, joy, and numbness. As Thanksgiving approached, I was dreading the long drive to Oklahoma. I was feeling extremely overwhelmed with school work, holiday preparations, etc. My anxiety level was off the charts. I wanted to stay home, alone, and bury myself under the covers. The last thing I wanted to do was drive to Oklahoma and spend Thanksgiving with friends.
As the week progressed and the time for reckoning drew near, I began to feel angry and hateful. Thanksgiving was becoming the holiday that I hated and would never celebrate again. I use to love the holiday season. Thanksgiving through to New Years was my favorite time. I never understood why people hated the holidays. I began to understand. My past Thanksgiving was horrible. This year was headed in that direction.
You see, as I get older, I am getting more selfish with where I spend my time. I don't want to spend my time on stupid, pointless, boring, miserable stuff. My time is precious to me and I want to spend it with people and things that are important. So the idea of 6 hours on the road was not appealing.
The day came to hit the road and I was at wits end. There was no getting out of it. People were depending on me to deliver. So I hit the road in a not too pleasant mood. As the miles rolled on my mood did not improve. I hated Thanksgiving more and more. Here I was wasting time on the road. Then we hit bumper to bumper traffic because some dumbass wanted to be stupid and had a wreck. As I sat there in traffic I kept asking myself "Why?". Why was I doing this if it was creating such misery? Why didn't I tell everyone I wasn't making the drive? Why? Because I'm reliable. I don't bail on people. I take the hit for the team. So there I sat in traffic, miserable.
The time crawled by and my thoughts continued to darken. As my 6 hour drive turned into 9 hours I was grateful just to have reached my destination. I was greeted by my friend and welcomed into their beautiful home on the lake. The negative and miserable feelings melted away as I passed through the door. I don't know what it is but their home has a calming effect. It must be filled with magic. I always feel warm and safe there. Thanksgiving turned out to be wonderful. I had the best time. I finally met all the family I had heard so much about. They were a blast. I am thankful for being able to have Thanksgiving with them. The drive home was uneventful and much more pleasant.
The happy experience saved Thanksgiving for me. I'm still upset about the users in my life. Sick of being treating like crap and then being asked to help as if nothing is wrong. I am tired of giving to hateful, ungrateful, greedy individuals who do nothing but take. My days of charity are over. My time will be spent on the people who matter.
I still love the holidays. Thanks to some amazing people. I have a handle on my final project due in two weeks, the house is ready for Christmas, and I am ready to enjoy my favorite time of year.
To my honey, missed you so much this Thanksgiving. Everyone wished you well and were extremely grateful for your service. They mentioned you in prayer which of course made me cry. Tux had an outstanding time with all the new people to meet and puppies to play with. Everyone loved him. I will have pics and a video for you soon. Weather is really nice here. I thought about you as I watched people dressed in hunting gear. Hunting would have been amazing with the weather being so warm. Hopefully you'll be home next year for Thanksgiving and we'll have to decide where to spend it. We've been invited back out to the lake so everyone can meet you. Then there is Cali and Arkansas. It will be a tough decision unless we're creative and can fit it all in. HA! Love you!
Play Safe, Play Smart
As the week progressed and the time for reckoning drew near, I began to feel angry and hateful. Thanksgiving was becoming the holiday that I hated and would never celebrate again. I use to love the holiday season. Thanksgiving through to New Years was my favorite time. I never understood why people hated the holidays. I began to understand. My past Thanksgiving was horrible. This year was headed in that direction.
You see, as I get older, I am getting more selfish with where I spend my time. I don't want to spend my time on stupid, pointless, boring, miserable stuff. My time is precious to me and I want to spend it with people and things that are important. So the idea of 6 hours on the road was not appealing.
The day came to hit the road and I was at wits end. There was no getting out of it. People were depending on me to deliver. So I hit the road in a not too pleasant mood. As the miles rolled on my mood did not improve. I hated Thanksgiving more and more. Here I was wasting time on the road. Then we hit bumper to bumper traffic because some dumbass wanted to be stupid and had a wreck. As I sat there in traffic I kept asking myself "Why?". Why was I doing this if it was creating such misery? Why didn't I tell everyone I wasn't making the drive? Why? Because I'm reliable. I don't bail on people. I take the hit for the team. So there I sat in traffic, miserable.
The time crawled by and my thoughts continued to darken. As my 6 hour drive turned into 9 hours I was grateful just to have reached my destination. I was greeted by my friend and welcomed into their beautiful home on the lake. The negative and miserable feelings melted away as I passed through the door. I don't know what it is but their home has a calming effect. It must be filled with magic. I always feel warm and safe there. Thanksgiving turned out to be wonderful. I had the best time. I finally met all the family I had heard so much about. They were a blast. I am thankful for being able to have Thanksgiving with them. The drive home was uneventful and much more pleasant.
The happy experience saved Thanksgiving for me. I'm still upset about the users in my life. Sick of being treating like crap and then being asked to help as if nothing is wrong. I am tired of giving to hateful, ungrateful, greedy individuals who do nothing but take. My days of charity are over. My time will be spent on the people who matter.
I still love the holidays. Thanks to some amazing people. I have a handle on my final project due in two weeks, the house is ready for Christmas, and I am ready to enjoy my favorite time of year.
To my honey, missed you so much this Thanksgiving. Everyone wished you well and were extremely grateful for your service. They mentioned you in prayer which of course made me cry. Tux had an outstanding time with all the new people to meet and puppies to play with. Everyone loved him. I will have pics and a video for you soon. Weather is really nice here. I thought about you as I watched people dressed in hunting gear. Hunting would have been amazing with the weather being so warm. Hopefully you'll be home next year for Thanksgiving and we'll have to decide where to spend it. We've been invited back out to the lake so everyone can meet you. Then there is Cali and Arkansas. It will be a tough decision unless we're creative and can fit it all in. HA! Love you!
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Itchy Sweater - Deployment Daze 66
Number 1 baby! That's right I am sitting in first place in fantasy football. Thanks to the guys who won when they needed to and beat my competition. Couldn't have done it without you.
This week I have been a bit overwhelmed with all the little things. I have my two final projects due for class in December. Feeling the pressure to get them started. Also, trying to get appointments scheduled for dentist, eyes, etc. before the end of the year. Just seems like the days go by too fast to get everything accomplished. Yet at the same time the days drag in relation to deployment. It doesn't seem like we're any closer to him coming home.
I pulled out all of the Christmas decorations and started decorating the tree and house. It is a much more scaled down version then when the man is home. I put up a small bunch of lights outside with the help of a neighbor. The difficulties of being short, you know. There are only a handful of decorations around the house. The tree is the only thing that is getting the normal attention. This year it is a Red, White and Blue theme to show our patriotism. Mini-Brian will be the tree topper. It is coming along. The kids and I should have it finished by Sunday. I love Christmas and decorating. So why am I not in a good mood. I should be happy. I'm not. I'm pissed. What's my problem?
I'm getting to the end of my patience with this whole deployment thing. It irritates me. Like an itchy sweater. You know, the longer you wear it the more irritating it becomes and then anger sets in. You just want to rip the sweater off. Well, what do you do when you can't take the sweater off? Your skin is raw from the irritation and there is no relief. You know the sweater will come off eventually, but that doesn't really matter. It's not only the sweater itself, but when you have to wear it that is the most irritating. Going through this deployment now is like wearing the itchy sweater during the hottest part of summer. Completely unbearable. It's frustrating to not celebrate, your birthday, Thanksgiving, Anniversary, Christmas, son's birthday or daughter's Sweet 16 like you normally would. It is especially irritating because all the events happen with a couple of weeks of each other. So it is a constant reminder that I'm missing out on the things that bring me joy. That even though those events take place there is something wrong, something irritating. A reminder that I'm wearing a damn itchy sweater.
To my honey, as the kids and I decorated the tree, I realized how important you are to us. Your absence leaves a large void. Christmas just won't be the same without you. No lights on the roof. No one to bring up the boxes from the basement. No one to put the ornaments up high on the tree. Just kidding! I really do miss your company. We would have so much fun shopping for the kids. Arguing about how the lights should look on the outside of the house. Opening up our anniversary gifts on Christmas Eve. Oh! and spending way too much on more Christmas ornaments that we don't need. All because we want to do a different theme for the tree. Wish you could come home soon.
Play Safe, Play Smart
This week I have been a bit overwhelmed with all the little things. I have my two final projects due for class in December. Feeling the pressure to get them started. Also, trying to get appointments scheduled for dentist, eyes, etc. before the end of the year. Just seems like the days go by too fast to get everything accomplished. Yet at the same time the days drag in relation to deployment. It doesn't seem like we're any closer to him coming home.
I pulled out all of the Christmas decorations and started decorating the tree and house. It is a much more scaled down version then when the man is home. I put up a small bunch of lights outside with the help of a neighbor. The difficulties of being short, you know. There are only a handful of decorations around the house. The tree is the only thing that is getting the normal attention. This year it is a Red, White and Blue theme to show our patriotism. Mini-Brian will be the tree topper. It is coming along. The kids and I should have it finished by Sunday. I love Christmas and decorating. So why am I not in a good mood. I should be happy. I'm not. I'm pissed. What's my problem?
I'm getting to the end of my patience with this whole deployment thing. It irritates me. Like an itchy sweater. You know, the longer you wear it the more irritating it becomes and then anger sets in. You just want to rip the sweater off. Well, what do you do when you can't take the sweater off? Your skin is raw from the irritation and there is no relief. You know the sweater will come off eventually, but that doesn't really matter. It's not only the sweater itself, but when you have to wear it that is the most irritating. Going through this deployment now is like wearing the itchy sweater during the hottest part of summer. Completely unbearable. It's frustrating to not celebrate, your birthday, Thanksgiving, Anniversary, Christmas, son's birthday or daughter's Sweet 16 like you normally would. It is especially irritating because all the events happen with a couple of weeks of each other. So it is a constant reminder that I'm missing out on the things that bring me joy. That even though those events take place there is something wrong, something irritating. A reminder that I'm wearing a damn itchy sweater.
To my honey, as the kids and I decorated the tree, I realized how important you are to us. Your absence leaves a large void. Christmas just won't be the same without you. No lights on the roof. No one to bring up the boxes from the basement. No one to put the ornaments up high on the tree. Just kidding! I really do miss your company. We would have so much fun shopping for the kids. Arguing about how the lights should look on the outside of the house. Opening up our anniversary gifts on Christmas Eve. Oh! and spending way too much on more Christmas ornaments that we don't need. All because we want to do a different theme for the tree. Wish you could come home soon.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, November 14, 2009
2nd Verse Same as the 1st - Deployment Daze 59
Hmmmm! What to blog about this week? Nothing too dramatic happened this week. Had a relaxing Sunday watching football and getting a day older. Steelers won their game. YEAH! I won in fantasy football so I'm now second in the league. Hahahah! The rest of the week went smoothly.
I'm staying busy with school. Continually surprising myself with the work I'm submitting. I currently carry a 100% in both my graduate classes. I must be doing something right. The professor has asked permission to use some of my projects as examples for next semester's classes. I am learning so much. There are so many really cool web tools available. I'm really becoming a web 2.0 junkie.
This weekend the kids and I saw the movie 2012. I was surprised by how much I really enjoyed this movie. It was more than just your basic disaster movie. (by the way, I love disaster movies.) The special effects were fabulous. The story line was more than I thought it would be. I'm not going to say too much about the movie because that would ruin it. You have to go into it with a fresh mind and enjoy the journey. Take tissue though. There are some moments that are heart wrenching. Afterwards, I was sad because I really wanted to share the experience with my husband. We enjoy going to the movies together and talking about them afterwards. I miss him so. I really done with this deployment thing.
I finished out my week with cleaning and laundry. Tomorrow of course is football. A big game for me in the fantasy league. I could end up 1st. We'll see.
To my honey, I missed having you at the movies with me. It is amazing how so many things lose their excitement when your other half isn't there to share it. This holiday season is going to suck. I sent you another package with Christmas gifts in it. I hope you enjoy what I got you. I have a few things here waiting for you when you come home. I still plan on putting up the tree. We'll take video and pics so you can enjoy too. Our house will be somewhat dark since you won't be here to put lights on the roof. I think we'll go see A Christmas Carol (3D) next. Getting into the spirit. Which means more shopping...Yippee!
Play Safe, Play Smart
I'm staying busy with school. Continually surprising myself with the work I'm submitting. I currently carry a 100% in both my graduate classes. I must be doing something right. The professor has asked permission to use some of my projects as examples for next semester's classes. I am learning so much. There are so many really cool web tools available. I'm really becoming a web 2.0 junkie.
This weekend the kids and I saw the movie 2012. I was surprised by how much I really enjoyed this movie. It was more than just your basic disaster movie. (by the way, I love disaster movies.) The special effects were fabulous. The story line was more than I thought it would be. I'm not going to say too much about the movie because that would ruin it. You have to go into it with a fresh mind and enjoy the journey. Take tissue though. There are some moments that are heart wrenching. Afterwards, I was sad because I really wanted to share the experience with my husband. We enjoy going to the movies together and talking about them afterwards. I miss him so. I really done with this deployment thing.
I finished out my week with cleaning and laundry. Tomorrow of course is football. A big game for me in the fantasy league. I could end up 1st. We'll see.
To my honey, I missed having you at the movies with me. It is amazing how so many things lose their excitement when your other half isn't there to share it. This holiday season is going to suck. I sent you another package with Christmas gifts in it. I hope you enjoy what I got you. I have a few things here waiting for you when you come home. I still plan on putting up the tree. We'll take video and pics so you can enjoy too. Our house will be somewhat dark since you won't be here to put lights on the roof. I think we'll go see A Christmas Carol (3D) next. Getting into the spirit. Which means more shopping...Yippee!
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, November 7, 2009
It's Good to be Bored - Deployment Daze 52
This week has been an interesting one to say the least. It is my birthday week. Yes, you read it right. MY BIRTHDAY WEEK. My birthday is tomorrow, however, I get the whole week to celebrate and be treated like the birthday princess. My family says I only get a day, but in my world it is a week.
Unfortunately this week has not been as light and as carefree as I would have liked it to be. It started off great with amazing football last Sunday. Vikings beat Green Bay. I win in fantasy football. I'm ranked third in the league so I have the boys quaking in their cleats. I saw the movie This is It with my daughter. An amazing film that truly showed the musical genius of Michael Jackson. His concert was going to be breathtaking and amazing. Not a bad start to my birthday week.
As the week progressed, I was looking forward to my son's school performance and a busy weekend with kids and friends all culminating into a Sunday birthday full of football.
Then the middle of the week hit and the world stopped. News came to us that a Ft. Riley soldier had been killed. Within that same day, news of the mass shooting at Ft Hood is aired. This is also the day of my son's performance.
On this same day we go to my son's school for his performance. My son joins the other students and the performance begins. As I look around the gym everyone is happy and joyful watching the children sing. It is at this moment I feel a pang of guilt and sadness. Realizing that while we are enjoying this moment, there are others who are struggling for their lives or worse mourning the death of loved ones.
The reality hits me how precariously close we are to the edge. The event of those two days could have been about me. You see I had become complacent, comfortable in the fact that not much was going on where my husband was. We talk every day. See each other every day. Talk about trivial things. I would ask him what he had been doing and he would reply not much. I got comfortable in the "not much." I felt secure in the nothing. I was even getting bored with it and so was he.
After the past few days, I've realized that there is nothing wrong with nothing. That "not much" is a whole lot of something. It is a whole lot of good, calm, peace, and security. Not much means no one died. Not much means life as usual. Not much means no tragedy, no drama. When your life is good than "not much" is a good thing.
Being bored can be a blessing. Because the alternative might not be what you had hoped for.
To my honey, thank you for the wonderful birthday gifts. My flowers are beautiful. I love getting flowers from you. My pjs and hoody are the best. I'll be wearing them when the Vikings win the Superbowl. I am having a good birthday week. Yes, a WEEK! I noticed that on one of my calendars, Sunday is the beginning of the week. Since my birthday is on Sunday, I will continue to celebrate my birthday week until next Saturday. Yeah more shopping for me....
Play Safe, Play Smart
Unfortunately this week has not been as light and as carefree as I would have liked it to be. It started off great with amazing football last Sunday. Vikings beat Green Bay. I win in fantasy football. I'm ranked third in the league so I have the boys quaking in their cleats. I saw the movie This is It with my daughter. An amazing film that truly showed the musical genius of Michael Jackson. His concert was going to be breathtaking and amazing. Not a bad start to my birthday week.
As the week progressed, I was looking forward to my son's school performance and a busy weekend with kids and friends all culminating into a Sunday birthday full of football.
Then the middle of the week hit and the world stopped. News came to us that a Ft. Riley soldier had been killed. Within that same day, news of the mass shooting at Ft Hood is aired. This is also the day of my son's performance.
On this same day we go to my son's school for his performance. My son joins the other students and the performance begins. As I look around the gym everyone is happy and joyful watching the children sing. It is at this moment I feel a pang of guilt and sadness. Realizing that while we are enjoying this moment, there are others who are struggling for their lives or worse mourning the death of loved ones.
The reality hits me how precariously close we are to the edge. The event of those two days could have been about me. You see I had become complacent, comfortable in the fact that not much was going on where my husband was. We talk every day. See each other every day. Talk about trivial things. I would ask him what he had been doing and he would reply not much. I got comfortable in the "not much." I felt secure in the nothing. I was even getting bored with it and so was he.
After the past few days, I've realized that there is nothing wrong with nothing. That "not much" is a whole lot of something. It is a whole lot of good, calm, peace, and security. Not much means no one died. Not much means life as usual. Not much means no tragedy, no drama. When your life is good than "not much" is a good thing.
Being bored can be a blessing. Because the alternative might not be what you had hoped for.
To my honey, thank you for the wonderful birthday gifts. My flowers are beautiful. I love getting flowers from you. My pjs and hoody are the best. I'll be wearing them when the Vikings win the Superbowl. I am having a good birthday week. Yes, a WEEK! I noticed that on one of my calendars, Sunday is the beginning of the week. Since my birthday is on Sunday, I will continue to celebrate my birthday week until next Saturday. Yeah more shopping for me....
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Plain on Plain - Deployment Daze 45
Tonight is Halloween. As I watch kids and their families run through the neighborhood collecting candy, I realize just how different things are now. Normally when Halloween arrives it is the beginning of a whirl-wind of activity. From October to January, we're celebrating something. Holidays, birthdays, etc. We go all out. There is usually a weeks' worth of work to decorate the house for Halloween. A big monster bash in the making where friends are invited to hang out, costumes and all. Not so this year. It just doesn't have the same appeal.
It reminded me of the day I went to the coffee shop to get a bagel and coffee. Now this coffee shop has the best cheesy bagel. The cheese is baked into the bagel and it gives it a special tangy taste. I usually top it off with the garlic herb cream cheese. The combined flavors are amazing. Well on this day they were out of the cheesy bagel. Gosh, I was really wanting that comfort food because of the crappy week I was having. Oh well, I said to myself and I ordered a plain bagel instead. I could at least get the garlic herb cream cheese. When I arrived back at my office and opened my bag there was my plain, boring bagel, and PLAIN cream cheese.
You see I had experienced the most horrible week to date. I was miserable. The weather was miserable. My job was miserable. Everything about this incredibly horrid state (KS) and town was miserable. And now this. My one spark of joy and comfort. Crushed. As I stared at my plain bagel with plain cream cheese, I thought, "This sums it up. My life right now. A plain bagel with plain cream cheese. Plain on Plain.
A plain on plain just doesn't have the same appeal as a cheesy bagel with garlic herb. There is something special in that combination. It is the pairing of the two that make it tasty. The pairing that makes you enjoy eating it. It isn't as much fun, plain on plain.
So that's how was this year. Halloween or any other holiday/special event just doesn't have that special flavor when someone is absent. It's the combination of everyone that makes the holiday enjoyable. The fun, the flavor, the comfort is in the combination of everyone. That's what makes the holiday enjoyable. Otherwise it's just plain on plain.
To my honey, this week has been hard. You have listened to me mope and be grumpy. I thank you for that. Things just aren't as much fun without your partner in crime. We would have rocked the neighborhood with our Halloween decor. Not many people decorated. There were lots of kids and families running about though. Oh the fun we would have had. Next year we'll knock it out. Maybe we'll expand into a haunted house. At 8:00 exactly the city sirens went off and police lined the streets to announce the end of trick or treating. It was weird to say the least. Once again I say, Welcome to Kansas. Or maybe it's just Junction City. Who knows?
Play Safe, Play Smart
It reminded me of the day I went to the coffee shop to get a bagel and coffee. Now this coffee shop has the best cheesy bagel. The cheese is baked into the bagel and it gives it a special tangy taste. I usually top it off with the garlic herb cream cheese. The combined flavors are amazing. Well on this day they were out of the cheesy bagel. Gosh, I was really wanting that comfort food because of the crappy week I was having. Oh well, I said to myself and I ordered a plain bagel instead. I could at least get the garlic herb cream cheese. When I arrived back at my office and opened my bag there was my plain, boring bagel, and PLAIN cream cheese.
You see I had experienced the most horrible week to date. I was miserable. The weather was miserable. My job was miserable. Everything about this incredibly horrid state (KS) and town was miserable. And now this. My one spark of joy and comfort. Crushed. As I stared at my plain bagel with plain cream cheese, I thought, "This sums it up. My life right now. A plain bagel with plain cream cheese. Plain on Plain.
A plain on plain just doesn't have the same appeal as a cheesy bagel with garlic herb. There is something special in that combination. It is the pairing of the two that make it tasty. The pairing that makes you enjoy eating it. It isn't as much fun, plain on plain.
So that's how was this year. Halloween or any other holiday/special event just doesn't have that special flavor when someone is absent. It's the combination of everyone that makes the holiday enjoyable. The fun, the flavor, the comfort is in the combination of everyone. That's what makes the holiday enjoyable. Otherwise it's just plain on plain.
To my honey, this week has been hard. You have listened to me mope and be grumpy. I thank you for that. Things just aren't as much fun without your partner in crime. We would have rocked the neighborhood with our Halloween decor. Not many people decorated. There were lots of kids and families running about though. Oh the fun we would have had. Next year we'll knock it out. Maybe we'll expand into a haunted house. At 8:00 exactly the city sirens went off and police lined the streets to announce the end of trick or treating. It was weird to say the least. Once again I say, Welcome to Kansas. Or maybe it's just Junction City. Who knows?
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Slow as Molasses in Winter - Deployment Daze 38
Things have been slowing down a bit. The cold weather seems to put everything into slow motion. I know I have been a little lazy and unmotivated. I believe I'm going into hibernation. Who want to go out in the biting cold wind. Not me! Give me a blanket, couch and TV. However, the trees are so beautiful right now. The yellows, golds and reds are amazing. I guess I have to give Kansas credit for that. It has beautiful landscapes.
This weekend has brought a mix of emotions. It is the first weekend completely by myself. I find the silence both relaxing and lonely. I am thankful for the time to concentrate on my paper that is due next week. However, this solitude feeds the unmotivated hibernation monster that lurks within me. Without the kids to keep me on my toes, I find myself wandering around without a purpose. Just last weekend they forced me out of the house to go watch Crazy With a Chance of Meatballs. It was an enjoyable movie. Although it made me not want to eat for a while.
Mostly I am just going through the motions. Day in, day out. Like I said the weather plays a big part in all this. However not having my hubby to do things with makes its mark as well. For example, I was so excited when I heard the Pittsburg Steelers were coming to Kansas City. I thought how fun would that be? Not much right now. If the man were here we would be going in a heartbeat. With him gone, just doesn't seem all that exciting. I guess it is merely laziness. I just don't want to put the effort in at this point.
My school work is going strong. I am carrying a 4.0 in both of my graduate courses. Many of my assignments will be used for examples for the next classes. I am surprised because half the time I don't think I know what the hell I'm talking about. I guess I do. Imagine that?!
As usual my exciting moment is Sunday football. If you could hear me during the games you would think I had either won the lottery or lost everything depending on the moment. But hey, my Vikings are still undefeated and Steelers won their game. To top it off, I kicked some major bootie in fantasy football with 186 points. If I had taken some risks I could have easily broke 200. Maybe next time. So I beat all the guys for that weekend. The Vikings and Steelers play each other tomorrow so that will be an interesting experience for me, cheering and cursing myself.
To my hubby, days are getting longer and it seems we are no closer to the end. It is getting colder here which means I am wearing my warm pjs and slippers in front of the fire. Tux of course hates to go outside now. Like me, all he wants to do is lay in front of the fire. The kids are doing well and miss you. You should be receiving a letter soon. Our roof still leaks eventhough they said they fixed it. The roofer is suppose to come again. Everything else is going good on the homefront. I don't know which shirt to wear for football tomorrow, Vikings or Steelers? Maybe I'll wear one the first half and the other the second half. Love you and talk with soon on Skype.
Play Safe, Play Smart
This weekend has brought a mix of emotions. It is the first weekend completely by myself. I find the silence both relaxing and lonely. I am thankful for the time to concentrate on my paper that is due next week. However, this solitude feeds the unmotivated hibernation monster that lurks within me. Without the kids to keep me on my toes, I find myself wandering around without a purpose. Just last weekend they forced me out of the house to go watch Crazy With a Chance of Meatballs. It was an enjoyable movie. Although it made me not want to eat for a while.
Mostly I am just going through the motions. Day in, day out. Like I said the weather plays a big part in all this. However not having my hubby to do things with makes its mark as well. For example, I was so excited when I heard the Pittsburg Steelers were coming to Kansas City. I thought how fun would that be? Not much right now. If the man were here we would be going in a heartbeat. With him gone, just doesn't seem all that exciting. I guess it is merely laziness. I just don't want to put the effort in at this point.
My school work is going strong. I am carrying a 4.0 in both of my graduate courses. Many of my assignments will be used for examples for the next classes. I am surprised because half the time I don't think I know what the hell I'm talking about. I guess I do. Imagine that?!
As usual my exciting moment is Sunday football. If you could hear me during the games you would think I had either won the lottery or lost everything depending on the moment. But hey, my Vikings are still undefeated and Steelers won their game. To top it off, I kicked some major bootie in fantasy football with 186 points. If I had taken some risks I could have easily broke 200. Maybe next time. So I beat all the guys for that weekend. The Vikings and Steelers play each other tomorrow so that will be an interesting experience for me, cheering and cursing myself.
To my hubby, days are getting longer and it seems we are no closer to the end. It is getting colder here which means I am wearing my warm pjs and slippers in front of the fire. Tux of course hates to go outside now. Like me, all he wants to do is lay in front of the fire. The kids are doing well and miss you. You should be receiving a letter soon. Our roof still leaks eventhough they said they fixed it. The roofer is suppose to come again. Everything else is going good on the homefront. I don't know which shirt to wear for football tomorrow, Vikings or Steelers? Maybe I'll wear one the first half and the other the second half. Love you and talk with soon on Skype.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Friday, October 16, 2009
Like Crazy - Deployment Daze 30
It's day 30, a month into deployment. It's been a week since I wrote. The days are beginning to meld one into the other. At times I can't tell where one has ended and the other begins. The weather is changing. It is colder now and the leaves have turned to golds and bronzes. We have had several straight days of gloomy, rainy, weather. I find those days particularly hard. It seems with the coming of winter, I find myself lost in a melancholy mood. Not really motivated to accomplish anything. Nothing seems worth my time.
Recently I have been questioning my decision to return to school. Although I find my studies interesting, I am overwhelmed by the scope of what I'm doing. Can I really achieve my PhD? What will I be able to do? Can I really apply what I'm studying and make a difference?
It seems as if my whole life right now is focused on the future and that future is so far away. A year for deployment to end. Two years for a Master's degree. Another two for a Doctorate. It is so massive.
I have a few rays of light in my weeks. Chatting with my hubby is always the highlight of my day. Next to that is Sunday Football. Believe it or not, my fantasy football league keeps me going through the week. I look forward to every Sunday. I don't know what I'll do once football season is over.
To my honey, I enjoy being able to see and talk with you every day. Fantasy football has been so much fun. Even when I let you win last week, it was fun. Can you believe it, Vikings undefeated. How is Dallas again?? All is good here as you know. Homework has mellowed out a little so I have some down time. I don't think that is a good thing for me. It has led to some depressed moments. Anyway, we hit our one month mark. It seems like longer than that and yet it's not long enough to get you closer to home. I'm starting to go a little stir crazy. Does this usually happen at one month? Love you,
Play Safe, Play Smart
Recently I have been questioning my decision to return to school. Although I find my studies interesting, I am overwhelmed by the scope of what I'm doing. Can I really achieve my PhD? What will I be able to do? Can I really apply what I'm studying and make a difference?
It seems as if my whole life right now is focused on the future and that future is so far away. A year for deployment to end. Two years for a Master's degree. Another two for a Doctorate. It is so massive.
I have a few rays of light in my weeks. Chatting with my hubby is always the highlight of my day. Next to that is Sunday Football. Believe it or not, my fantasy football league keeps me going through the week. I look forward to every Sunday. I don't know what I'll do once football season is over.
To my honey, I enjoy being able to see and talk with you every day. Fantasy football has been so much fun. Even when I let you win last week, it was fun. Can you believe it, Vikings undefeated. How is Dallas again?? All is good here as you know. Homework has mellowed out a little so I have some down time. I don't think that is a good thing for me. It has led to some depressed moments. Anyway, we hit our one month mark. It seems like longer than that and yet it's not long enough to get you closer to home. I'm starting to go a little stir crazy. Does this usually happen at one month? Love you,
Play Safe, Play Smart
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Black Jack - Deployment Daze 21
Nothing monumental happened today. Work, class, TV, Skype. I did realize that we have reached 3 weeks and soon it will be one month down. Mother Nature lets me know that we have pushed forward towards the end. Her cold breath sends wind, rain and possible snow this weekend. The message is loud and clear. Winter is coming. Although I hate the cold and winter, I gladly welcome it this year. It mean one season closer to reunification.
I have been struggling lately with what to write. It seems that my days have become mundane. In an effort not bore I contemplate the idea of changing from daily blogs to weekly blogs. The daily blogs served their purpose. A vehicle to express the frustration, despair, humor and other emotions I experienced during deployment. I now feel I am in a place where weekly rants and stories will serve me better. I may on occasion blog more than just weekly if I feel the pull to do so. However, I will not change the name of the blog just because I enjoy the play on words to much. It truly is like living is a different reality, a daze, as if you're awake yet still asleep.
To my honey, we miss you. The weather has decided to change and they are calling for snow this weekend. I look forward to kicking your (BEEP!) in fantasy football this weekend. Things are mellow here. Talk with you soon.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I have been struggling lately with what to write. It seems that my days have become mundane. In an effort not bore I contemplate the idea of changing from daily blogs to weekly blogs. The daily blogs served their purpose. A vehicle to express the frustration, despair, humor and other emotions I experienced during deployment. I now feel I am in a place where weekly rants and stories will serve me better. I may on occasion blog more than just weekly if I feel the pull to do so. However, I will not change the name of the blog just because I enjoy the play on words to much. It truly is like living is a different reality, a daze, as if you're awake yet still asleep.
To my honey, we miss you. The weather has decided to change and they are calling for snow this weekend. I look forward to kicking your (BEEP!) in fantasy football this weekend. Things are mellow here. Talk with you soon.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Monday, October 5, 2009
Grid Iron - Deployment Daze 19
I enjoyed a day at home. Spent most of time surfing the internet looking for resources for my class project. It is on the Middle East. I learned so much about their culture. Makes me wonder...HMMM! What's the point of all this? Chatted with my hubby and waited...
Waited for clock to strike 7:30 pm.
Monday night football and Vikings are playing the Packers. How great is that? So far it has been a close game with lots of excitement. The Vikings have to win. I'm on pins and needles. At half-time the Vikings lead by a touchdown. (EEEEE!!)
Life seems to be getting to some kind of normalcy. Will see what the week holds.
To my honey, Vikings are going to the SuperBowl baby. It is getting cool here. I think fall has landed. I sent your package today so you should get it soon. Thanks for the pics. Keep the coming. I love to see where you're at.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Waited for clock to strike 7:30 pm.
Monday night football and Vikings are playing the Packers. How great is that? So far it has been a close game with lots of excitement. The Vikings have to win. I'm on pins and needles. At half-time the Vikings lead by a touchdown. (EEEEE!!)
Life seems to be getting to some kind of normalcy. Will see what the week holds.
To my honey, Vikings are going to the SuperBowl baby. It is getting cool here. I think fall has landed. I sent your package today so you should get it soon. Thanks for the pics. Keep the coming. I love to see where you're at.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Touchdown - Deployment Daze 18
Sundays are my favorite day during the fall for one reason. FOOTBALL! I love professional football. I enjoy it even more this season because I am playing in a fantasy league. So far I have been doing well. Although I'm not the leader, I'm not the caboose either. I am tied with many of the other players in the middle of the pack. This season could be perfect. Vikings could go to the Superbowl and win, and my hubby home to enjoy my victory. That is the one thing missing. Not having him here to razz about how his team is horrible and my team is great.
Sunday is also the day I receive my motivational quote/thought for the week. This week's was very appropriate for my life this year.
Life is a series of experience, each of which makes us bigger even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grief's which we endure help us in our marching onward.”
Henry Ford
So I went down the list and looked at what I had done this year. Between the move, school and deployment, I have definitely experienced life sometimes reluctantly
THOUGHT for YOUR WEEK:
Life Is an Experience, So . . .
by William Arthur Ward
Think a new thought; accept a new responsibility; memorize a new poem.
Try a new recipe; plan a new adventure; entertain a new idea.
Learn a new language; blaze a new trail; enjoy a new experience.
Make a new fiend; read a new book; see a new movie.
Climb a new hill; scale a new mountain; launch a new career.
Find a new purpose; fill a new need; light a new lamp.
Exercise a new strength; grasp a new truth; practice a new awareness.
Add a new dimension; encourage a new growth; affirm a new beginning.
Discover a new answer; envision a new image; conceive a new system.
Dream a new dream; chart a new course; build a new life.
Open a new door; explore a new possibility; capture a new vision.
Start a new chapter; seek a new challenge; express a new confidence.
Write a new plan; turn a new page; follow a new direction.
Watch a new program; be a new person; radiate a new enthusiasm.
To my honey, thank you for providing the opportunities to experience life. Although at time it has not been easy and I had my moments of meltdown, it has made me grow in many ways. Your calm resolve and support has been my anchor when things were dark and stormy. What an adventure.
Side note: So sorry about your loss today, Denver 17 Dallas 10 (giggle)
Play Safe, Play Smart
Sunday is also the day I receive my motivational quote/thought for the week. This week's was very appropriate for my life this year.
Life is a series of experience, each of which makes us bigger even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grief's which we endure help us in our marching onward.”
Henry Ford
So I went down the list and looked at what I had done this year. Between the move, school and deployment, I have definitely experienced life sometimes reluctantly
THOUGHT for YOUR WEEK:
Life Is an Experience, So . . .
by William Arthur Ward
Think a new thought; accept a new responsibility; memorize a new poem.
Try a new recipe; plan a new adventure; entertain a new idea.
Learn a new language; blaze a new trail; enjoy a new experience.
Make a new fiend; read a new book; see a new movie.
Climb a new hill; scale a new mountain; launch a new career.
Find a new purpose; fill a new need; light a new lamp.
Exercise a new strength; grasp a new truth; practice a new awareness.
Add a new dimension; encourage a new growth; affirm a new beginning.
Discover a new answer; envision a new image; conceive a new system.
Dream a new dream; chart a new course; build a new life.
Open a new door; explore a new possibility; capture a new vision.
Start a new chapter; seek a new challenge; express a new confidence.
Write a new plan; turn a new page; follow a new direction.
Watch a new program; be a new person; radiate a new enthusiasm.
To my honey, thank you for providing the opportunities to experience life. Although at time it has not been easy and I had my moments of meltdown, it has made me grow in many ways. Your calm resolve and support has been my anchor when things were dark and stormy. What an adventure.
Side note: So sorry about your loss today, Denver 17 Dallas 10 (giggle)
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, October 3, 2009
A Rose is a Rose - Deployment Daze 17
I had a full day planned today. Had to take the man's truck to get a tire repaired. Went to the tire place and they couldn't repair the tire. Bummers! Had to replace the tire which is never inexpensive. Spent an 1 1/2 there. Talked to hubby while I was there and even was able to talk to the repair guy.
The rest of day was a shopping/errand trip. The list was long; homecoming dress, costumes, and items from Wal-Mart. As I'm walking out the door, a florist calls me and says she is on her way to deliver flowers. For me!? When they arrived they were gorgeous. Red roses and white lilies. They smell so good. I was so happy. Even though, I'm a practical gal when it comes to spending money. It's nice to get flowers just because.
Well it was off on our day of running around. I documented our adventure with Mini Brian in a video. It's on YouTube. Mini Brian is our army doll that has his face on the doll. We decided to take him with us and video those escapades. The kids love it and it makes for some hilarious video.
To my honey, you are the greatest guy ever. I love my flowers. Absolutely special. Hope you enjoy the video we made. I will be sending your care package soon.
Play Safe, Play Smart
The rest of day was a shopping/errand trip. The list was long; homecoming dress, costumes, and items from Wal-Mart. As I'm walking out the door, a florist calls me and says she is on her way to deliver flowers. For me!? When they arrived they were gorgeous. Red roses and white lilies. They smell so good. I was so happy. Even though, I'm a practical gal when it comes to spending money. It's nice to get flowers just because.
Well it was off on our day of running around. I documented our adventure with Mini Brian in a video. It's on YouTube. Mini Brian is our army doll that has his face on the doll. We decided to take him with us and video those escapades. The kids love it and it makes for some hilarious video.
To my honey, you are the greatest guy ever. I love my flowers. Absolutely special. Hope you enjoy the video we made. I will be sending your care package soon.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Friday, October 2, 2009
Blah Blah Blah - Deployment Daze 16
Too tired to really put a coherent thought together. Worked on homework and watched a movie - The Express. It is the story of Ernie Davis, running back. It was really good. Tomorrow will be a busy day.
To my honey, we miss you. Took care of the boat. And Waldo died. Talk with you soon.
Play Safe, Play Smart
To my honey, we miss you. Took care of the boat. And Waldo died. Talk with you soon.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Making the Grade - Deployment Daze 15
Well we had our first over-the-net fight. Over fantasy football no less. We play in this league and we were shuffling our players around. He had requested the TE Gonzales and I wanted Davis. Well there was a mess up. I don't know if I accidentally clicked the wrong button or what, but I ended up with Gonzales. He was mad. He thought I had done it on purpose. Really!!? Anyway, it was our first fight. It won't matter anyway, I'm still going to win!!!!!
Later today I went to parent/teacher conference at the high school. The teachers had many great things to say about my daughter. Her grades are very high and they all said she was an ideal student. That is so nice to hear.
My daughter has a high standard to maintain coming from teacher family. Many of her immediate relatives including myself are part of the education industry. So she can't get away with much.
The move to Kansas has been good for her. Getting here was extremely rocky. However, it has worked out well. She enjoys the school and has made some great friends. It's amazing to watch her mature over these last few months. She will do amazing things with her life.
To my honey, glad your mission went smoothly and returned to base safely. We are doing well here at the house, except for Tux. He chewed the door jamb again. We made a mini doll of you which we will take with us. Be looking for video of our adventures. Love you.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Later today I went to parent/teacher conference at the high school. The teachers had many great things to say about my daughter. Her grades are very high and they all said she was an ideal student. That is so nice to hear.
My daughter has a high standard to maintain coming from teacher family. Many of her immediate relatives including myself are part of the education industry. So she can't get away with much.
The move to Kansas has been good for her. Getting here was extremely rocky. However, it has worked out well. She enjoys the school and has made some great friends. It's amazing to watch her mature over these last few months. She will do amazing things with her life.
To my honey, glad your mission went smoothly and returned to base safely. We are doing well here at the house, except for Tux. He chewed the door jamb again. We made a mini doll of you which we will take with us. Be looking for video of our adventures. Love you.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Home on the Range - Deployment Daze 14
I just realized as I am creating this post that we're on day 14 which translates to two weeks. Two more and it's a month. Wow! I never thought we would get here. Day one felt as if I was stuck in dark well with no way to the light. Now, I see the light. The end of this deployment. Grant it, it is a long way off, but it seems reachable.
Started the day in a most wonderful way. Had a Skype discussion all morning with my hubby. He was setting up his living quarters. It was nice to get to watch him and talk. I felt like I was there with him. He showed me his room and things that he had purchased. That made my whole day.
My husband just Skyped while I was writing this. It was good to see him before bed. He wanted to say "Hi" and let me know he was going out on his first mission. Wow! Talk about going from "everything's going to be alright" to "REALITY CHECK!!" Won't go into detail but it does put a cloud of worry over my head. I just have to have faith that he will do his job to the best of his ability and be back safe and sound.
To my hubby, I know that you will soon be reading this. Which means you are safe and back at in your room. I love you! What more is there to say?
Play Safe, Play Smart
Started the day in a most wonderful way. Had a Skype discussion all morning with my hubby. He was setting up his living quarters. It was nice to get to watch him and talk. I felt like I was there with him. He showed me his room and things that he had purchased. That made my whole day.
My husband just Skyped while I was writing this. It was good to see him before bed. He wanted to say "Hi" and let me know he was going out on his first mission. Wow! Talk about going from "everything's going to be alright" to "REALITY CHECK!!" Won't go into detail but it does put a cloud of worry over my head. I just have to have faith that he will do his job to the best of his ability and be back safe and sound.
To my hubby, I know that you will soon be reading this. Which means you are safe and back at in your room. I love you! What more is there to say?
Play Safe, Play Smart
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Devine Nature - Deployment Daze 13
I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.
~John Burroughs
I went out to the lake today to take care of some last minute business with the boat before winter comes. I wasn't looking forward to it. In fact I had been putting it off. I didn't want to go because my husband wasn't around to go with me. It just didn't carry the same excitement and joy without him. It was something I had to do.
I took the dog with me. I had convinced myself that it would be good for the dog to get out of the house and enjoy some exercise. I also didn't feel as alone. Tux of course was thrilled.
I pulled into the parking lot in front of the marina and got out of the truck. I immediately was awed by the peace that came over me. It felt as if someone had wrapped a blanket around me. It was warm, safe, peaceful. The lake was beautiful. Sparkling under the afternoon sunshine. The temperature was perfect. Warm yet with a mild breeze to keep it from getting hot. I watched fisherman try to catch the "big one" and observed the birds napping on the jetty.
I met some new people and visited with some old acquaintances. Many of whom asked when we be up there to fish again. "Sadly not anymore this year," I said. I was so appreciated of their kindness and well wishes for my family, especially my husband.
I don't know what is about being there that brings me such calm. It just puts everything into perspective.
To my honey, you would have loved being on the lake today. It was sunny and calm with only a few boats on the water. Tim says the wipers are really active in the evenings. He says "Hi" and wishes you a safe journey. Doc from Nebraska also says "Hi" and he is thinking about you. Took care of the boat business. Oh, Tux fell off the dock and into the water. I fished him out by his collar and he looked like a pathetic wet rat. He was not happy.
Love you and remember I still hold the biggest wiper record.
Play Safe, Play Smart
~John Burroughs
I went out to the lake today to take care of some last minute business with the boat before winter comes. I wasn't looking forward to it. In fact I had been putting it off. I didn't want to go because my husband wasn't around to go with me. It just didn't carry the same excitement and joy without him. It was something I had to do.
I took the dog with me. I had convinced myself that it would be good for the dog to get out of the house and enjoy some exercise. I also didn't feel as alone. Tux of course was thrilled.
I pulled into the parking lot in front of the marina and got out of the truck. I immediately was awed by the peace that came over me. It felt as if someone had wrapped a blanket around me. It was warm, safe, peaceful. The lake was beautiful. Sparkling under the afternoon sunshine. The temperature was perfect. Warm yet with a mild breeze to keep it from getting hot. I watched fisherman try to catch the "big one" and observed the birds napping on the jetty.
I met some new people and visited with some old acquaintances. Many of whom asked when we be up there to fish again. "Sadly not anymore this year," I said. I was so appreciated of their kindness and well wishes for my family, especially my husband.
I don't know what is about being there that brings me such calm. It just puts everything into perspective.
To my honey, you would have loved being on the lake today. It was sunny and calm with only a few boats on the water. Tim says the wipers are really active in the evenings. He says "Hi" and wishes you a safe journey. Doc from Nebraska also says "Hi" and he is thinking about you. Took care of the boat business. Oh, Tux fell off the dock and into the water. I fished him out by his collar and he looked like a pathetic wet rat. He was not happy.
Love you and remember I still hold the biggest wiper record.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Monday, September 28, 2009
Same Difference - Deployment Daze 12
It was a typical day in the neighborhood. Even the school work has slowed down. I'm glad. I needed the breather.
To my honey, I leave you with these words of wisdom:
Words to Live By..
Author: Unknown
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open
To my honey, I leave you with these words of wisdom:
Words to Live By..
Author: Unknown
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Feel Good - Deployment Daze 11
Today was a great day! I was able to enjoy football, clean the house, mow the lawn, and not have to worry about homework. Football was a blast with my Vikings winning their third straight game thanks to an amazing finish by Bret Favre. Steelers were disappointing. Not everything can go your way. I am doing well in fantasy football so far.
The best part of the day is talking with my guy. It's what I love most about the weekends. I can be online all day which gives us many opportunities to talk. He even called me this morning. Hopefully the week will be an easy one. It has to be better than last week.
To my honey, I know your frustrated about not moving north like planned today. All things happen for a reason. Oh, I climb up on the car today to change the light bulb in the garage. You can check out the video on YouTube. Enjoy your flight and keep your barf bag close. Love you!
Play Safe, Play Smart
The best part of the day is talking with my guy. It's what I love most about the weekends. I can be online all day which gives us many opportunities to talk. He even called me this morning. Hopefully the week will be an easy one. It has to be better than last week.
To my honey, I know your frustrated about not moving north like planned today. All things happen for a reason. Oh, I climb up on the car today to change the light bulb in the garage. You can check out the video on YouTube. Enjoy your flight and keep your barf bag close. Love you!
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Just Breath - Deployment Daze 10
I accomplished alot today. Completed two papers and got some shopping done. I finally feel like I'm getting my life under control again. Looking forward to watching football tomorrow and tracking my stats on fantasy football.
I got a special phone call this morning from my soldier husband. Of course he called while I'm in the shower. It didn't matter. We had a good talk. Later on this evening he called me again. This time the connection wasn't that great and we were cut off. He is finally headed to his home away from home for the next year. As we talked, I could tell something was bothering him. He sounded down. I guess the circumstance have finally started to affect him. It is unsettling to know he is uncomfortable. Before we could talk more we were disconnected. Although bothered by this, I am surprised my calm reaction. A few days ago I would have broken down into a pile of blubbering tears. Today, I calmly accept that it is what it is. Am I numb or have I entered the stage of acceptance?
To my honey, we're in the double digit days for deployment, YEAH! I know it might be a few days until we can talk again. Know that I think about you always. When I see your truck parked out front, I smile visualizing you at home. I know it is hard to be away from your family and the comfort of home. You have amazing strength and courage and a family who love and supports you. Some days will be tough and others will be easy. I send you my love and positive thoughts to keep you strong. Remember to be a STAR: Stop Take a deep breath And Relax.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I got a special phone call this morning from my soldier husband. Of course he called while I'm in the shower. It didn't matter. We had a good talk. Later on this evening he called me again. This time the connection wasn't that great and we were cut off. He is finally headed to his home away from home for the next year. As we talked, I could tell something was bothering him. He sounded down. I guess the circumstance have finally started to affect him. It is unsettling to know he is uncomfortable. Before we could talk more we were disconnected. Although bothered by this, I am surprised my calm reaction. A few days ago I would have broken down into a pile of blubbering tears. Today, I calmly accept that it is what it is. Am I numb or have I entered the stage of acceptance?
To my honey, we're in the double digit days for deployment, YEAH! I know it might be a few days until we can talk again. Know that I think about you always. When I see your truck parked out front, I smile visualizing you at home. I know it is hard to be away from your family and the comfort of home. You have amazing strength and courage and a family who love and supports you. Some days will be tough and others will be easy. I send you my love and positive thoughts to keep you strong. Remember to be a STAR: Stop Take a deep breath And Relax.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Friday, September 25, 2009
Youth United - Deployment Daze 9
Ok so I spent most of the day online doing homework. Didn't get to talk with the man so that was depressing. Then the kids and I went to dinner and a movie. My daughter's boyfriend joined us. Although I loved the movie, it wasn't the same. I sat there and watched my daughter enjoy her evening with a guy she liked and it just made me realize how much I miss mine. It's amazing how those feelings can creep up on you.
One thing I did realize today is how lucky I am to have the kids I do. As I sat watching the movie I felt this hand reach over and take mine. It was my son. He just instinctively knew that is what I needed at that moment. So words were exchanged. They didn't need to be.
My kids have been my rock throughout these first couple of days. Although they cried when he left, they have been solid in their support and assistance to me. When I was a mess, they gave me a shoulder to cry on and encouraging words to strengthen me. I am so proud of them. Not only do they support me, but their support and care for their sdad has given me peace. I know that they understand the meaning of family and the importance of maintaining those relationships.
To my honey, the movie just wasn't the same without you. Know that the kids are taking good care of me. They talk about you all the time and can't wait to chat or Skype with you. We all hope you have a great weekend. Oh! Tux decided to chew the door frame, again.
Play Safe, Play Smart
One thing I did realize today is how lucky I am to have the kids I do. As I sat watching the movie I felt this hand reach over and take mine. It was my son. He just instinctively knew that is what I needed at that moment. So words were exchanged. They didn't need to be.
My kids have been my rock throughout these first couple of days. Although they cried when he left, they have been solid in their support and assistance to me. When I was a mess, they gave me a shoulder to cry on and encouraging words to strengthen me. I am so proud of them. Not only do they support me, but their support and care for their sdad has given me peace. I know that they understand the meaning of family and the importance of maintaining those relationships.
To my honey, the movie just wasn't the same without you. Know that the kids are taking good care of me. They talk about you all the time and can't wait to chat or Skype with you. We all hope you have a great weekend. Oh! Tux decided to chew the door frame, again.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tranquil Waters - Deployment Daze 8
Today seemed like a normal day. Work was what it is. Have two papers due this Sunday. One is on Social Networking and Education. The other is about WebQuests. I absolutely love my Master's subjects. I didn't realize how many fascinating web tools there are. What I don't like is the pressure of completing my topic papers. My brain is still recovering from a meltdown and I am struggling with putting intelligent coherent thoughts together. My on-line time has probably tripled since he left. Between my homework and chatting with my man, I am completely engulfed by technology.
I started a wall wisher webpage for group. It's a simple webpage that lets stick post-its with messages on it. I set it up so we could post positive sayings and well wishes to our guys and they could post back. It has been fun. I hope everyone enjoys it.
The days don't seem to go by any faster. It still has been a long week. The thought of one year seems like forever. I heard a great song today that I posted to MySpace. No Air by Jordan Sparks. Anyway time to catch up on some TV.
To my honey, always enjoy chatting with you. Glad you have a place where you can enjoy some comforts of home such as movies, ice cream, and Mt Dew. Saw your post on the wall. Have a good day tomorrow.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I started a wall wisher webpage for group. It's a simple webpage that lets stick post-its with messages on it. I set it up so we could post positive sayings and well wishes to our guys and they could post back. It has been fun. I hope everyone enjoys it.
The days don't seem to go by any faster. It still has been a long week. The thought of one year seems like forever. I heard a great song today that I posted to MySpace. No Air by Jordan Sparks. Anyway time to catch up on some TV.
To my honey, always enjoy chatting with you. Glad you have a place where you can enjoy some comforts of home such as movies, ice cream, and Mt Dew. Saw your post on the wall. Have a good day tomorrow.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Rising Up - Deployment Daze 7
Today has been the best day so far. Finally getting into the groove of this new experience. Week One has been reached. How many more to go? Let's not go there. As I look back at the week I realized that all my feelings and emotions were following the stages of grief. Shock, Pain, Anger, Depression, Upward Turn, Reconstruction, Acceptance (See link for more info http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html ) I guess I'm in the Upward Turn stage. Thinking about this week, we have all been at odds with the world. Without him a part of our daily lives , nothing is quite right. We're like Alice in Wonderland where things are just plain weird. My daughter humorously called it a "disturbance in the force."
To my honey, your presence is greatly missed. Although we are strong and go on with our daily lives, know that it is not the same without you. Life is out-of-balance. Love you and may the force be with you.
Play Safe, Play Smart
To my honey, your presence is greatly missed. Although we are strong and go on with our daily lives, know that it is not the same without you. Life is out-of-balance. Love you and may the force be with you.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Making It - Deployment Daze 6
Just when I thought I was turning a corner, I'm confronted with reality. I was at a career fair today and saw the Army recruiting booth. It brought back some great memories of Tulsa and also sadden me with the empty space once filled by my husband. I remember him looking so handsome in his dress blues as he talked with people about the Army. As I moved on past, I was confronted again by a group of soldiers getting ready for military appreciation at the football game this weekend.
Reminders are everywhere. Which is great and painful all at the same time. I realized though that the emotions weren't as overwhelming as the days before. With the sad reminders came pleasant memories. No longer was I focused solely on the loss. I might make it through this after all.
“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing” Mignon McLaughlin
Reminders are everywhere. Which is great and painful all at the same time. I realized though that the emotions weren't as overwhelming as the days before. With the sad reminders came pleasant memories. No longer was I focused solely on the loss. I might make it through this after all.
“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing” Mignon McLaughlin
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Day is Done - Deployment Daze 4
If you haven't noticed I reworded my blog title a little. I thought Deployment Daze was more fitting and a humorous play on words. Although nothing is humorous about this experience. Yet! Well I'm in Day 4 and I'm still trying to manage the day to day functions. I wonder if I'll ever feel "normal" again. I did finish my two homework assignments that were due. Got some laundry done with the help of my wonderful daughter. And even enjoyed some football. Still not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I'm really feeling overwhelmed by everything and thinking that this p/t job is one too many.
Anyway the best part of the day was getting to see and chat with my hubby. Wow, the power of technology. It made me really appreciate all the hard work of technology gurus such as Gates, Jobs and the others that have followed. Thank you goes to the inventors of Skype and all the other technologies that allow us to SEE and TALK to our love ones oversee. I wonder if they knew what an impact they would have on lives when they were inventing in their garages. What a difference it makes! So thing are looking up. I don't think I have any more energy to spend going the other direction.
To my honey, it was so good getting to finally see you. It really lifted my spirits to be able to chat with you and talk football. Although I still have moments that I want to cry, I'm slowly being able to work through those. It is comforting to hear that you enjoyed some football and some Baskin Robbins. Everyone hear is doing fine. Football still isn't the same without your random shout outs. Can't wait to Skype again. With all my heart.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Anyway the best part of the day was getting to see and chat with my hubby. Wow, the power of technology. It made me really appreciate all the hard work of technology gurus such as Gates, Jobs and the others that have followed. Thank you goes to the inventors of Skype and all the other technologies that allow us to SEE and TALK to our love ones oversee. I wonder if they knew what an impact they would have on lives when they were inventing in their garages. What a difference it makes! So thing are looking up. I don't think I have any more energy to spend going the other direction.
To my honey, it was so good getting to finally see you. It really lifted my spirits to be able to chat with you and talk football. Although I still have moments that I want to cry, I'm slowly being able to work through those. It is comforting to hear that you enjoyed some football and some Baskin Robbins. Everyone hear is doing fine. Football still isn't the same without your random shout outs. Can't wait to Skype again. With all my heart.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Drinking from an Empty Cup - Deployment Day Three
Woke up this morning thinking it was all a bad dream. Then reality hit and the feeling of emptiness sets in. It is so hard to describe or compare this experience with anything else. Slept most of the morning away. Just can't get motivated to get anything accomplished. Still feeling woozy from the bump on my head. Must of hit it pretty good. Not feeling well is making this a whole lot worse. Or least I try to convince myself of that. Maybe it just that I'm not as strong as I thought I was.
When I heard from my hubby early this morning I felt better. It's always good to hear his voice. However, I am now a slave to the phone. Carrying it around as if I was a toddler with their favorite blanket. How strange to be that venerable.
My will to accomplish the simplest tasks has left me. I look at my unkempt house and the piles of laundry that need washing and fail to see the purpose in getting those things done. It is as if I've lost my purpose. The emptiness is so profound that it is hard to fill with anything else.
I did manage to get dragged out of the house by my neighbor. Which did me a lot of good. I accomplished some homework. Still have a lot to do. If he were here, he would be telling me to suck it up and get busy.
To my honey, the house is not the same without you. Your place on the couch is so empty. The house is so quiet without you. We miss your sarcasm, your unusual humor, the orders that you bark and we ignore, an all the other wonderful, frustrating, and silly dynamics that make up our family. Love you bunches. Waiting patiently for your return.
Play Safe, Play Smart
When I heard from my hubby early this morning I felt better. It's always good to hear his voice. However, I am now a slave to the phone. Carrying it around as if I was a toddler with their favorite blanket. How strange to be that venerable.
My will to accomplish the simplest tasks has left me. I look at my unkempt house and the piles of laundry that need washing and fail to see the purpose in getting those things done. It is as if I've lost my purpose. The emptiness is so profound that it is hard to fill with anything else.
I did manage to get dragged out of the house by my neighbor. Which did me a lot of good. I accomplished some homework. Still have a lot to do. If he were here, he would be telling me to suck it up and get busy.
To my honey, the house is not the same without you. Your place on the couch is so empty. The house is so quiet without you. We miss your sarcasm, your unusual humor, the orders that you bark and we ignore, an all the other wonderful, frustrating, and silly dynamics that make up our family. Love you bunches. Waiting patiently for your return.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Friday, September 18, 2009
Welcome to Hell - Deployment Day Two
Today was a complete mess. Early morning I passed out on the bathroom floor. Why? Who the hell knows but I bumped my head pretty good. So I had a headache all day. All through the night and even during the day I was having the strangest deja vu. I mean there were times when it felt like I was dreaming or hallucinating. I think I'm losing my mind. Anyway, ended up going to the doctor for three hours while they ran tests. Nothing wrong with me but maybe a screw loose.
I was beyond loosing it. I was having a mental meltdown. What's the matter with me? I feel like a mental case. Well, eventually made it home and lost it again. I don't think I had dry eyes at all today. I talked to him throughout the day and still I couldn't hold it together. Later this evening, he called me from Canada and I was much better. Maybe it's a combination of everything, work, school, deployment, tiredness that has me so messed up.
To my honey, I missed you something awful today. Everything is going to be fine once we get into our groove. I know your safe and wish you a smooth and blessed journey. You're in my thoughts.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I was beyond loosing it. I was having a mental meltdown. What's the matter with me? I feel like a mental case. Well, eventually made it home and lost it again. I don't think I had dry eyes at all today. I talked to him throughout the day and still I couldn't hold it together. Later this evening, he called me from Canada and I was much better. Maybe it's a combination of everything, work, school, deployment, tiredness that has me so messed up.
To my honey, I missed you something awful today. Everything is going to be fine once we get into our groove. I know your safe and wish you a smooth and blessed journey. You're in my thoughts.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Deployment Day One
Well it's D-Day. Deployment Day One. My honey boarded a bus today and is headed out for a year. What an exhausting experience. Although I have many things that I need to get done, it is hard to get motivated to complete them. I have two papers due for school on Sunday and I find myself unable to put a coherent thought together. Instead I busy myself with mundane, brainless tasks in order to be distracted.
It has been a difficult journey. The career decisions for us both. Family turmoil prior to our move. An economic recession. And now this.
There are moments in life when you reflect on choices made and previous events. This is one of those moments. I realize now that my journey to this point has prepared me for this.
To my honey, I am sadden that you had to leave today. Know that my love goes with you. I will think about you every day and surround you with positive energy so that you may have strength. Please know that we miss you and look forward to your return.
Play Safe, Play Smart
It has been a difficult journey. The career decisions for us both. Family turmoil prior to our move. An economic recession. And now this.
There are moments in life when you reflect on choices made and previous events. This is one of those moments. I realize now that my journey to this point has prepared me for this.
To my honey, I am sadden that you had to leave today. Know that my love goes with you. I will think about you every day and surround you with positive energy so that you may have strength. Please know that we miss you and look forward to your return.
Play Safe, Play Smart
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