The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

Today we leave 2010 behind and take a step in the future, 2011.  I look back at 2010 to remember the good things that happened, learn from the bad things, and put closure to the ugly things.

THE GOOD - This year I finished my first semester of my Master's program with a 4.0 and entered into my second semester.  I took on a new role at work which I really enjoy.  My job and the people are great.  In May, my husband came home for R&R from Iraq and finally in August was home for good.  That was the best part of 2010.  We traveled several places this year.  My daughter and I traveled to Colorado in July to see one of my childhood friends.  Thanks to the power of Facebook I was able to find her and we have been in touch ever since. The family went to Minnesota to watch Vikings play Cowboys. Seeing my Vikings beat Dallas in person was a highlights of  2010.  Our trip to California for Thanksgiving was filled with memories as we visited with family, reconnected with old friends, and looked back at my childhood.  I saw many good friends from the Fx days and also revisited my grandparents home where I grew up. Kids are doing good in school and are healthy.  What more can you ask for?  Hubs was finally reunited with his kids this Christmas when they came to visit.  All of us had so much fun playing games, rocking out on Rock Band, and opening gifts.  Husband and I celebrated our 3rd Anniversary and that in itself is the best part of 2010.

THE BAD - The top spot goes to my daughter who decided to go for a joy ride without a licensed driver and wrecked the truck.  Not a fun time but a lesson learned for her.  After huge fines, insurance, and a court appearance, she won't being do that again.  No one old me the teenage years were the hardest.  I've learned a lot about letting go to allow to grow.  A very hard lesson to learn.

THE UGLY - the winner is.......hubby's deployment to Iraq.  Although it started in 2009, it was still was very definitely present through most of 2010.  Sure it could have been a lot worse.  It was still ugly and not something you look forward to repeating.  Glad it is behind us.


So there you have it.  My Good, Bad, Ugly for 2010.  As I write this I am realizing that 2010 was a good year.  Many more good things happened then bad.  Time to move forward into 2011.

Only Way Out is Through - Deployment Daze 323

The final day is here.  I woke up this morning and immediately checked my email and the virtual FRG site.  No changes.  No phone calls.  Facebook statuses....normal.  Everything is going ahead as scheduled.  Ran some errands and came home to.....Facebook comments about delays and new calls from Rear-D.  Well crap!

So I check the virtual FRG website and my email, sure enough the times had changed.  Pushed back another two hours.  Disappointing to say the least.  Surprising? Not at all.  Seems to be a regular occurrence that the flights get delayed some way some how.  Still have not received an official phone call notifying me of the new time, and I'm now over half way through the day.  Without Facebook I wouldn't have even known there was a change.

Oh well, what's a girl to do?

The best part of the day was hearing from my hubby that he was boarding a plane home.  No one can prepare you for how that changes everything.  It finally is sinking in that in less than 24 hrs we will be reunited.  It is a weird feeling, full of excitement, impatience, anxiety, and stress.

These final hours are pure torture.  Checking websites every few minutes.  Waiting for phone calls.  Hoping you hear something and then praying you don't.  I've been told that the only way out is through.  So I go through the rest of day knowing that each hour brings me closer to the end.

To my honey, I will see you soon.

When Is It My Turn? - Deployment Daze 321

Finally!!!! Received the phone call today.  The wait has been excruciating.  Going into the last week waiting for some type of announcement, email, phone call, anything was driving me nuts.  Sure I talked with hubby and had an idea of what to expect.  However, getting the official call from "the powers-that-be" makes it real.  It is actually happening...and soon!

Wow!  This means that I'm close to ending this crazy journey called deployment.  It is hard for me to reflect on my experiences over the last year because the last few weeks have skewed my judgement.  So I'll save that for another time.  Right now, I wait and watch.

Watch the time tick slowly and the calendar days roll by.  I've been busy...however that hasn't helped make these last few days any easier.  I think this has been the hardest part.  It is frustrating to say the least.  Knowing that everyone is just waiting...soldier husband waiting for a flight....you waiting for a date and time...watching others celebrate redeployment.  I'm happy for them and yet there is that inner child screaming.."I want my turn!"  "When is it my turn?"  Then I feel guilty for sounding selfish.  Whew!  The emotions are running from one end of the spectrum to another. Guilt, excitement, anger, sadness, frustration, joy, laughter, humor..they're all here, like one big party in my head.

So I keep busy cleaning so the house looks nice.  Getting the dog groomed, boat cleaned, and his truck detailed..oh and the hair, nails, etc.  so everything looks good including me.  And still the time ticks slowly and the days roll by....

And I... wait... for my turn!

To my honey, Patience is not one of my virtues....

Redeployment Delirium - Deployment Daze 317

Don't mess with a woman on the edge!  What edge?  The edge of redeployment...which also means the edge of insanity.  What's wrong with me?  I have Redeployment Delirium.  It is a form of delirium brought on by the slow torture of waiting for your husband to redeploy home. 

Delirium: A temporary state of mental confusion. Characterized by anxiety, disorientation, hallucinations, delusions, and incoherent speech. A state of uncontrolled excitement or emotion.

I have experienced everyone of these symptoms.  I was wondering why my words, ringing clear in my head, would get all twisted up and come out a complete mess.  I sound like a blabbering idiot have the time.
The closer the possible return date approaches the worse the delirium becomes.  Although I don't feel anxious, there is a feeling of tension in the air.  I don't know how to explain it, except that there is a change in the energy surrounding me.  The kids feel it.  The dog senses it.  I notice that everyone is just a little on edge.  Tempers are shorter, emotions are higher and my dog is acting a fool.  It seems like there has been a shift in the cosmic force of the universe.

Of course what has led me to this state of mind is the damn Deployment Curse (Curses).  Everyday it is something. Some little thing that doesn't go just right.   If this deployment doesn't end soon my husband may have to come visit me in a psych ward (not a crazy house type, but more like a resort/spa type). Add to that the limbo that you are forced to endure as you wait.... and wait.... and wait for this unknown, date and time.  Knowing it is getting close, yet not knowing "officially" when.  No way to make plans.  No way to let anyone know.  No wonder we're all going crazy.

Sadly, there is no cure for this ailment.  No quick fix.  No pill.  It is has run it's course.  So I face everyday with hope and faith as each one brings me one step closer to the end.  Closer to normalcy.  Until then..... DON'T MESS WITH A WOMAN ON THE EDGE!!

To my honey, I'll let you know if my address has changed to the "Military Wives Nut House Resort and Spa".  When you get off the bus come get me, ok?

It Is What It Is - Deployment Daze 253

When is good enough, good enough?  Why is it so impossible for people to enjoy the successes?  Why can't a happy moment be just that?  And when did 100% mean that you weren't working to your potential?  REALLY??

I said in my description that my life is a roller coaster ride.  Well here is the drop after reaching the top.  I can't believe that no matter how much you do or how hard you work, it is never good enough.  That moments of success are met with either negativity or criticism.  The worse part is, it's from those closest to you.

Nothing is ever good enough.  There is always something that has to be improved upon.  Always something that needs to be solved.  Why?  I don't know. Probably because they have nothing better to do?

Well I'm done.  100% is what it is.  4.0 GPA is what it is.  Success is what it is.  Working your ass off so other can enjoy..well....If you don't think it is good enough then too bad.  It is what it is!

Some Day We'll Laugh - Deployment Daze 250

It's the end of the school year and as with every other school year the kids bring home folders full of school work that they have completed.  Confession time.  I don't keep everything.  If I did I would be buried under mountains of paper.  Oh the trees that have been sacrificed in the name of education.  Anyway, today was the day that it all came home. 

As I was sifting through the stack, I came across stories that my son had wrote.  I was intrigued by their titles so I read them.  I was rolling on the floor laughing almost to the point of tears.  The humor and creativity amazed me.  Not to mention his unique viewpoint on things that had actually taken place.  You see none of the stories were fictional.  Each one was a narrative about something that had truly happened.  At the time these stories took place it wasn't funny.  Looking back now, they are hysterical.  I guess that is how life is.  Sometimes you just have to say, "Someday we'll look back and laugh."

Here is one of those stories:  (Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent)

The Fight That Apparently Needed a Call to 911

It was at my old house, my step-sister (Lil Sis), and my step-brother (Lil Bro) were visiting.  We were all sitting on the couch when my mom and step-dad announced that they were going out to a fancy restaurant to eat dinner.  They told us we needed to be good, that is the typical parent, so we nodded our heads and went our separate ways.  My biological sister (Big sis)went to the computer, Lil Bro and I went up stairs to play LEGOS and Lil Sis went to her room...but not for long.

Lil Bro and I were playing LEGOS when Lil Sis came into our room.  "Can I play?" she asked.  I said, "Sure as long as you don't ruin a ship or destroy the town."  She nodded her head and sat down.  She grabbed the only girl LEGO person and started to walk around.  She went to Lil Bro's character (who was the mechanic) and asked, "Can you build me a ship?"  He replied, "Sue it will cost $400 dollars."  They haggled and she paid $300.  Her ship was built and she flew it around.  That's when things went horribly wrong.

She flew it around too fast and the ship slipped out of her hands and hit Lil Bro right in the face.  Lil Bro had anger issues and he struck her in the mouth.  This progressed violently.  They headed towards the stairs and they went down all 27 steps, falling and trampling over each other.  I was in front of them so I had to run down the steps trying not to get trampled.  I felt like Indiana Jones trying to get away from the boulder that I triggered.  When Big Sis heard the fighting she came over and broke it up.  Lil Sis was really irate, and stormed to her room.  Lil Bro took a lot of damage but nothing serious.  Lil Sis attempted to call her dad but apparently dialed 911 and Big Sis got a call.

"Ma'am how old are you" said the 911 operator."
"Who is this?" requested Big Sis.
"This is the police!"
"WHAT?"
"Ma'am calm down, we received a call from your house.  So what is your name and how old are you?"

Big Sis gave them the information.  After she hung up she called everyone into the living room with her loud strident voice.  "Who called 911?!"  Lil Sis came forward and confessed.  Big Sis said in a strict voice, "I'm going to call you father!"

Lil Sis begged, whined and moaned not to.  When step-dad came home he was red as blood.  "YOU DID WHAT?" he yelled.  Lil Bro and I were upstairs trying not to laugh.  "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!" he yelled again.  I heard Lil Sis small voice say, "I tried to call you."

I heard them talking.  When they got to the part about the fight he called us down stairs and I whispered, "Good Luck."  it was a good thing I came down since I was a bystander and saw everything.  I told step-dad what happened.  He didn't like it.

It was a long night, and after everything was sorted out we went to bed.  The next day Lil Bro and Lil Sis had to hold hands and "like" each other until step-dad was satisfied.

To my honey, I know you remember this event.  It is funny now that we are looking back.  There are many of those interesting moments that we share and I know that there will be many more.  I guess that is what they mean by don't take life too seriously.  I can't imagine sharing those moments with anybody else.  Love you with all my heart.

Play Safe, Play Smart

A Moment of Normal - RnR

My hubby is home for two weeks for RnR.  People have been asking me am I glad he is back.  Yes, of course, but it is so much more than that.  It is like a huge weight had been lifted.  I feel relieved.  Not relieved in the sense of fear for his safety. I'm glad he is safe at home, but that has never been a thought that has held me captive.  I'm relieved by his mere presence, the sense of security and partnership.  We were driving in the truck and I thought to myself, I'm not alone anymore.  He is here and everything is how it should be.  It's nice to feel normal again.  My rock, my safety net, my soft place to land has returned.

Wait for it..Wait for it.. - Deployment Daze 222

After 222 long days, I finally get to see my hubby.  He is scheduled to be returning to the states for RnR soon.  I can't believe it is actually happening.  Several times his RnR was pushed back.  It was disappointing, but you learn to deal with that "hurry up and wait" scenario when you're an Army family.  Regardless, the time I've waited for is here and I couldn't be more excited.

I'm actually surprised by my level of excitement.  I didn't think I would be this effected.  It is like when you pop the tab to a soda and it makes that whoosh sound. All these bubbles rush out and tickle your nose.  Well my tab has been popped.  I realize that while he was gone I had shut down a part of me.  Part of me was on hold, waiting.  With the phone call telling me what day and time to pick him up, my excitement and joy is rising to the surface.  I can't wait.  But I have to...

It's the hardest part.  The waiting!.  While in transit, the communication is null.  We're in limbo.  Waiting for the next call to tell us where he is at, what country.  Watching the news, the weather, the volcano.  Hoping nothing interferes with flights.  Praying everything is on schedule.  Waiting and waiting and waiting..for the words, "I'm in Dallas and I'm getting ready to fly home."

To my honey, I can't believe you'll be home soon.  Every evening is a blessing because it is one more day closer to your arrival.  The kids are so excited to see you.  We've cleaned house like crazy all weekend so it will look nice for your return and when your parents come.  Tux is excited too..he just doesn't know it.  I'm sure when he sees you, he'll be so happy he pees.  I'm probably going to cry when I see you, but I'll try not to.  Hopefully when you get to read this, you'll be right where you belong.  At home!

Play Safe, Play Smart

Too Much On the Plate - Deployment Daze 206

My son comes home with a paper from school describing the 5th grade science project requirements. OH NO!  I thought to myself.  Do the schools understand exactly what they are asking?  The timing couldn't have been worst.  Husband deployed so I'm single parenting it right now.  Working and in graduate school which means I too have homework.  In fact two large projects due at the same time as my son's science project.

I know what you're thinking, "It is his project let him do it."  That sounds good in theory.  What people fail to realize is that to complete a fairly decent project the child needs help.  It requires time from the parent to help facilitate and supply the project.  Well, when your limited on time and there is only you it makes for a very stressful situation.

So there I was, two projects due this weekend.  A science project that needed to be started and a whole list of other things that needed to get done.  After a mental meltdown, freak out, and then some deep breathing, I did what any quality parent would do.  Put my homework on hold, rallied the troops, and started the 5th grade science project.  My son, his big sis , her boyfriend, and I got to work.  We conducted the experiment and have our results.  Now just the display has to be put together.

Although I was stressed by the inconvenience, I realize that as a parent some things come first.  There are times, well many times, when you have to sacrifice.  Kids need your time and energy.  It is proven that students who have parents that make school work a priority and actually spend time to work with them are more successful in school.  It is also proven that it impacts their future as an adult.  Too many times I have seen students struggle, not because they can't do the work, but because the adult in their life doesn't put the effort in to help or check.  The child has no support.  If you want your child to be successful in school, you, the parent, must make it a priority.

I know sometimes it can be overwhelming.  I know sometimes the work doesn't make sense.  Nevertheless, the parents actions influence the path the child takes.  I am comforted by the fact that we worked through the difficulties and accomplished what we needed to today.  Science project is half way completed.  And the bonus?  Both my assignments are done as well.

To my honey, sorry that we didn't have much time to talk today.  As you know it was a stressful time.  I was a bit overwhelmed with everything that had to get done.  Thanks for being patient with me.  I miss you very much.  I know you think I'm this superwoman, but honestly, it is time to hang up my cape.  I getting too old for this s***t.  It has been warm here.  I hope the weather stays this way so we can go out on the boat when you're here for RnR.  After today, I'm thinking Mexico might be a great destination for our upcoming family trip!  Lounging by the pool, swimming in the cenote, and a snorkeling day at Xhel-Ha beach.  Back the bags!

The Techno Blame Game

I'm studying Educational Computing and Online Learning. We do a lot of discussion about technology and education. Using technology in the public school setting is not an easy task and today's students utilize technology like the previous generation use a pencil. It is an intrinsic and natural tool for them. Sharing information is the norm and collaborating with others is how you get things done.


We talk alot about how public schools are missing the mark. Many schools block the very web tools that students use or need to learn for the real world. Adults in general, parents included, fail to teach how to navigate the technology. Instead they block it. Deciding that if they can't access it then that will protect them. Protect them from what? Themselves? Evil People? What happens when these kids are on their own and have no knowledge or self-discipline to protect themselves? Do we not teach how to drive before letting them loose with a car? Do we not teach how to be safe when playing outside or going out? Why is this any different?

It is easy to place blame on sites like Facebook (FB) or MySpace (MYS). However these sites have policies and recommendations in place to promote privacy and safety. Unfortunately many adults ignore these and even worse allow their children to ignore them. Meaning they either allow their children to violate the policies or they don't teach appropriate internet use. Did you know that both FB and MYS have minimum age requirements? Why? Probably because it does take a level of maturity to participate appropriately on social networking sites. Did you know that it is illegal to post hurtful, harassing or bullying comments? Do you know how to recognize bully or predatory behavior? Do you know what intellectual property is? There are many concepts of internet safety and online citizenship that need to be taught. Today student need those lessons and they need the guidance from the adults in their life. Why is it so important?

This story and many like it are why?

Cyberbullying Blamed for Teen's Suicide - ABC News

This kind of stuff just pisses me off! When parents and other adults don't teach kids how to appropriately use the web and monitor what is being done things like this happen. It's not FB or MYS that is the problem. Know the rules of internet usage, rights, responsibilities, and privacy.

Just telling kids not to go there or do that isn't enough. They have to be able to use the tools and yes, that means if your adult then you will have to do some work. Work to teach them how to use the tools. Tell them what is expected. Sit with them. Oh here is a hard one ROLE MODEL. If the adult can't be appropriate on a site then how do you expect the child to be? They watch and read everything you do?

Be mindful of age. Just because an older sibling has something that doesn't mean the younger sibling has to have it. Certain things come with age. They need to earn the privileges. Low performance in school may mean no FB.

Here is the kicker. When they cross the line or do something inappropriate. Done! Adios! If they can't handle it, then they're not mature enough..take them off.

I know what a shocker. If this pisses you off too bad. Truth hurts.