You would think as the end of deployment gets closer it would be a downhill ride. Everything easier and lighter. My husband's brigade is starting to come home. The first group arrived today so the end is near. That proverbial light at the end of tunnel is shining bright. Yet, I couldn't feel worse.
It is hard to describe this feeling. I feel farther away from him then when this whole thing started. Like the long months of deployment have finally taken their toll. In horror movies, they show someone running down a hall hoping to reach the door at the end. Yet as they run, the halls seems to stretch longer and longer. No matter how hard they run they'll never make it out. That's me! Running. Trying to get to the end. Watching the hall stretching and the door getting farther away. Fearing that the door will never be reached. If the door is not reached soon...it will never open!
What's behind the door? Life! Just like in the horror movie. Get out the door you get to live. Stay and your dead. What's dead? Maybe a little piece of us or me. I don't know and I don't want to find out. So I'm running down the hall. And I'm frustrated, irritated and tired.
You would think it would be easier. Well it isn't. Two months doesn't sound like a long time when 10 months have already passed. But when YOUR living it, when YOUR running down the hall that never ends, it seems like forever.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
