I accomplished alot today. Completed two papers and got some shopping done. I finally feel like I'm getting my life under control again. Looking forward to watching football tomorrow and tracking my stats on fantasy football.
I got a special phone call this morning from my soldier husband. Of course he called while I'm in the shower. It didn't matter. We had a good talk. Later on this evening he called me again. This time the connection wasn't that great and we were cut off. He is finally headed to his home away from home for the next year. As we talked, I could tell something was bothering him. He sounded down. I guess the circumstance have finally started to affect him. It is unsettling to know he is uncomfortable. Before we could talk more we were disconnected. Although bothered by this, I am surprised my calm reaction. A few days ago I would have broken down into a pile of blubbering tears. Today, I calmly accept that it is what it is. Am I numb or have I entered the stage of acceptance?
To my honey, we're in the double digit days for deployment, YEAH! I know it might be a few days until we can talk again. Know that I think about you always. When I see your truck parked out front, I smile visualizing you at home. I know it is hard to be away from your family and the comfort of home. You have amazing strength and courage and a family who love and supports you. Some days will be tough and others will be easy. I send you my love and positive thoughts to keep you strong. Remember to be a STAR: Stop Take a deep breath And Relax.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Youth United - Deployment Daze 9
Ok so I spent most of the day online doing homework. Didn't get to talk with the man so that was depressing. Then the kids and I went to dinner and a movie. My daughter's boyfriend joined us. Although I loved the movie, it wasn't the same. I sat there and watched my daughter enjoy her evening with a guy she liked and it just made me realize how much I miss mine. It's amazing how those feelings can creep up on you.
One thing I did realize today is how lucky I am to have the kids I do. As I sat watching the movie I felt this hand reach over and take mine. It was my son. He just instinctively knew that is what I needed at that moment. So words were exchanged. They didn't need to be.
My kids have been my rock throughout these first couple of days. Although they cried when he left, they have been solid in their support and assistance to me. When I was a mess, they gave me a shoulder to cry on and encouraging words to strengthen me. I am so proud of them. Not only do they support me, but their support and care for their sdad has given me peace. I know that they understand the meaning of family and the importance of maintaining those relationships.
To my honey, the movie just wasn't the same without you. Know that the kids are taking good care of me. They talk about you all the time and can't wait to chat or Skype with you. We all hope you have a great weekend. Oh! Tux decided to chew the door frame, again.
Play Safe, Play Smart
One thing I did realize today is how lucky I am to have the kids I do. As I sat watching the movie I felt this hand reach over and take mine. It was my son. He just instinctively knew that is what I needed at that moment. So words were exchanged. They didn't need to be.
My kids have been my rock throughout these first couple of days. Although they cried when he left, they have been solid in their support and assistance to me. When I was a mess, they gave me a shoulder to cry on and encouraging words to strengthen me. I am so proud of them. Not only do they support me, but their support and care for their sdad has given me peace. I know that they understand the meaning of family and the importance of maintaining those relationships.
To my honey, the movie just wasn't the same without you. Know that the kids are taking good care of me. They talk about you all the time and can't wait to chat or Skype with you. We all hope you have a great weekend. Oh! Tux decided to chew the door frame, again.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tranquil Waters - Deployment Daze 8
Today seemed like a normal day. Work was what it is. Have two papers due this Sunday. One is on Social Networking and Education. The other is about WebQuests. I absolutely love my Master's subjects. I didn't realize how many fascinating web tools there are. What I don't like is the pressure of completing my topic papers. My brain is still recovering from a meltdown and I am struggling with putting intelligent coherent thoughts together. My on-line time has probably tripled since he left. Between my homework and chatting with my man, I am completely engulfed by technology.
I started a wall wisher webpage for group. It's a simple webpage that lets stick post-its with messages on it. I set it up so we could post positive sayings and well wishes to our guys and they could post back. It has been fun. I hope everyone enjoys it.
The days don't seem to go by any faster. It still has been a long week. The thought of one year seems like forever. I heard a great song today that I posted to MySpace. No Air by Jordan Sparks. Anyway time to catch up on some TV.
To my honey, always enjoy chatting with you. Glad you have a place where you can enjoy some comforts of home such as movies, ice cream, and Mt Dew. Saw your post on the wall. Have a good day tomorrow.
Play Safe, Play Smart
I started a wall wisher webpage for group. It's a simple webpage that lets stick post-its with messages on it. I set it up so we could post positive sayings and well wishes to our guys and they could post back. It has been fun. I hope everyone enjoys it.
The days don't seem to go by any faster. It still has been a long week. The thought of one year seems like forever. I heard a great song today that I posted to MySpace. No Air by Jordan Sparks. Anyway time to catch up on some TV.
To my honey, always enjoy chatting with you. Glad you have a place where you can enjoy some comforts of home such as movies, ice cream, and Mt Dew. Saw your post on the wall. Have a good day tomorrow.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Rising Up - Deployment Daze 7
Today has been the best day so far. Finally getting into the groove of this new experience. Week One has been reached. How many more to go? Let's not go there. As I look back at the week I realized that all my feelings and emotions were following the stages of grief. Shock, Pain, Anger, Depression, Upward Turn, Reconstruction, Acceptance (See link for more info http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html ) I guess I'm in the Upward Turn stage. Thinking about this week, we have all been at odds with the world. Without him a part of our daily lives , nothing is quite right. We're like Alice in Wonderland where things are just plain weird. My daughter humorously called it a "disturbance in the force."
To my honey, your presence is greatly missed. Although we are strong and go on with our daily lives, know that it is not the same without you. Life is out-of-balance. Love you and may the force be with you.
Play Safe, Play Smart
To my honey, your presence is greatly missed. Although we are strong and go on with our daily lives, know that it is not the same without you. Life is out-of-balance. Love you and may the force be with you.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Making It - Deployment Daze 6
Just when I thought I was turning a corner, I'm confronted with reality. I was at a career fair today and saw the Army recruiting booth. It brought back some great memories of Tulsa and also sadden me with the empty space once filled by my husband. I remember him looking so handsome in his dress blues as he talked with people about the Army. As I moved on past, I was confronted again by a group of soldiers getting ready for military appreciation at the football game this weekend.
Reminders are everywhere. Which is great and painful all at the same time. I realized though that the emotions weren't as overwhelming as the days before. With the sad reminders came pleasant memories. No longer was I focused solely on the loss. I might make it through this after all.
“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing” Mignon McLaughlin
Reminders are everywhere. Which is great and painful all at the same time. I realized though that the emotions weren't as overwhelming as the days before. With the sad reminders came pleasant memories. No longer was I focused solely on the loss. I might make it through this after all.
“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing” Mignon McLaughlin
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Day is Done - Deployment Daze 4
If you haven't noticed I reworded my blog title a little. I thought Deployment Daze was more fitting and a humorous play on words. Although nothing is humorous about this experience. Yet! Well I'm in Day 4 and I'm still trying to manage the day to day functions. I wonder if I'll ever feel "normal" again. I did finish my two homework assignments that were due. Got some laundry done with the help of my wonderful daughter. And even enjoyed some football. Still not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I'm really feeling overwhelmed by everything and thinking that this p/t job is one too many.
Anyway the best part of the day was getting to see and chat with my hubby. Wow, the power of technology. It made me really appreciate all the hard work of technology gurus such as Gates, Jobs and the others that have followed. Thank you goes to the inventors of Skype and all the other technologies that allow us to SEE and TALK to our love ones oversee. I wonder if they knew what an impact they would have on lives when they were inventing in their garages. What a difference it makes! So thing are looking up. I don't think I have any more energy to spend going the other direction.
To my honey, it was so good getting to finally see you. It really lifted my spirits to be able to chat with you and talk football. Although I still have moments that I want to cry, I'm slowly being able to work through those. It is comforting to hear that you enjoyed some football and some Baskin Robbins. Everyone hear is doing fine. Football still isn't the same without your random shout outs. Can't wait to Skype again. With all my heart.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Anyway the best part of the day was getting to see and chat with my hubby. Wow, the power of technology. It made me really appreciate all the hard work of technology gurus such as Gates, Jobs and the others that have followed. Thank you goes to the inventors of Skype and all the other technologies that allow us to SEE and TALK to our love ones oversee. I wonder if they knew what an impact they would have on lives when they were inventing in their garages. What a difference it makes! So thing are looking up. I don't think I have any more energy to spend going the other direction.
To my honey, it was so good getting to finally see you. It really lifted my spirits to be able to chat with you and talk football. Although I still have moments that I want to cry, I'm slowly being able to work through those. It is comforting to hear that you enjoyed some football and some Baskin Robbins. Everyone hear is doing fine. Football still isn't the same without your random shout outs. Can't wait to Skype again. With all my heart.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
