Two more weeks and schools out....Yeah!!! It is wonderful in so many ways. No classes, no work. Nothing but R&R. The past week has been stressful. A college campus is not the place to be as Christmas approaches. Too many stressed out individuals. I feel the pain as well. My final project and paper had me at wits end. Now that I have completed that assignment I can focus on enjoying the Christmas season.
I had the best weekend. A trip to Topeka for a day of shopping with my best bud was a welcome relief. I think I have been too secluded and locked up. Completely focused on school and nothing else. I did not have enough time at the mall to really get my fix, so weather permitting, I'll have to take another trip to the city.
My weekend was dampened a little by Steelers and Vikings loss in football. Not to mention I may lose this week in fantasy football. I was doing so well. C'es la vie. Luckily I will still be ranked number one and going to the playoffs. It's so much fun to beat a bunch of guys.
Christmas is fast approaching and it will be an interesting end to the year. I do believe this will be a year I am glad to see pass.
To my honey, the weather is getting cold and snowy here. I had a great time shopping. Thank you for the wonderful coat. I sent you a package of goodies. Mason started soccer and loves it. His coaches are tough so he will learn a lot. They focus on ball handling and control. We all miss you. Tux doesn't like going outside anymore so we have to wrap him up in a sweater and coat to keep him warm.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Holiday Cheer - Deployment Daze 74
The holidays are here and it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I have had moments of sadness, anger, joy, and numbness. As Thanksgiving approached, I was dreading the long drive to Oklahoma. I was feeling extremely overwhelmed with school work, holiday preparations, etc. My anxiety level was off the charts. I wanted to stay home, alone, and bury myself under the covers. The last thing I wanted to do was drive to Oklahoma and spend Thanksgiving with friends.
As the week progressed and the time for reckoning drew near, I began to feel angry and hateful. Thanksgiving was becoming the holiday that I hated and would never celebrate again. I use to love the holiday season. Thanksgiving through to New Years was my favorite time. I never understood why people hated the holidays. I began to understand. My past Thanksgiving was horrible. This year was headed in that direction.
You see, as I get older, I am getting more selfish with where I spend my time. I don't want to spend my time on stupid, pointless, boring, miserable stuff. My time is precious to me and I want to spend it with people and things that are important. So the idea of 6 hours on the road was not appealing.
The day came to hit the road and I was at wits end. There was no getting out of it. People were depending on me to deliver. So I hit the road in a not too pleasant mood. As the miles rolled on my mood did not improve. I hated Thanksgiving more and more. Here I was wasting time on the road. Then we hit bumper to bumper traffic because some dumbass wanted to be stupid and had a wreck. As I sat there in traffic I kept asking myself "Why?". Why was I doing this if it was creating such misery? Why didn't I tell everyone I wasn't making the drive? Why? Because I'm reliable. I don't bail on people. I take the hit for the team. So there I sat in traffic, miserable.
The time crawled by and my thoughts continued to darken. As my 6 hour drive turned into 9 hours I was grateful just to have reached my destination. I was greeted by my friend and welcomed into their beautiful home on the lake. The negative and miserable feelings melted away as I passed through the door. I don't know what it is but their home has a calming effect. It must be filled with magic. I always feel warm and safe there. Thanksgiving turned out to be wonderful. I had the best time. I finally met all the family I had heard so much about. They were a blast. I am thankful for being able to have Thanksgiving with them. The drive home was uneventful and much more pleasant.
The happy experience saved Thanksgiving for me. I'm still upset about the users in my life. Sick of being treating like crap and then being asked to help as if nothing is wrong. I am tired of giving to hateful, ungrateful, greedy individuals who do nothing but take. My days of charity are over. My time will be spent on the people who matter.
I still love the holidays. Thanks to some amazing people. I have a handle on my final project due in two weeks, the house is ready for Christmas, and I am ready to enjoy my favorite time of year.
To my honey, missed you so much this Thanksgiving. Everyone wished you well and were extremely grateful for your service. They mentioned you in prayer which of course made me cry. Tux had an outstanding time with all the new people to meet and puppies to play with. Everyone loved him. I will have pics and a video for you soon. Weather is really nice here. I thought about you as I watched people dressed in hunting gear. Hunting would have been amazing with the weather being so warm. Hopefully you'll be home next year for Thanksgiving and we'll have to decide where to spend it. We've been invited back out to the lake so everyone can meet you. Then there is Cali and Arkansas. It will be a tough decision unless we're creative and can fit it all in. HA! Love you!
Play Safe, Play Smart
As the week progressed and the time for reckoning drew near, I began to feel angry and hateful. Thanksgiving was becoming the holiday that I hated and would never celebrate again. I use to love the holiday season. Thanksgiving through to New Years was my favorite time. I never understood why people hated the holidays. I began to understand. My past Thanksgiving was horrible. This year was headed in that direction.
You see, as I get older, I am getting more selfish with where I spend my time. I don't want to spend my time on stupid, pointless, boring, miserable stuff. My time is precious to me and I want to spend it with people and things that are important. So the idea of 6 hours on the road was not appealing.
The day came to hit the road and I was at wits end. There was no getting out of it. People were depending on me to deliver. So I hit the road in a not too pleasant mood. As the miles rolled on my mood did not improve. I hated Thanksgiving more and more. Here I was wasting time on the road. Then we hit bumper to bumper traffic because some dumbass wanted to be stupid and had a wreck. As I sat there in traffic I kept asking myself "Why?". Why was I doing this if it was creating such misery? Why didn't I tell everyone I wasn't making the drive? Why? Because I'm reliable. I don't bail on people. I take the hit for the team. So there I sat in traffic, miserable.
The time crawled by and my thoughts continued to darken. As my 6 hour drive turned into 9 hours I was grateful just to have reached my destination. I was greeted by my friend and welcomed into their beautiful home on the lake. The negative and miserable feelings melted away as I passed through the door. I don't know what it is but their home has a calming effect. It must be filled with magic. I always feel warm and safe there. Thanksgiving turned out to be wonderful. I had the best time. I finally met all the family I had heard so much about. They were a blast. I am thankful for being able to have Thanksgiving with them. The drive home was uneventful and much more pleasant.
The happy experience saved Thanksgiving for me. I'm still upset about the users in my life. Sick of being treating like crap and then being asked to help as if nothing is wrong. I am tired of giving to hateful, ungrateful, greedy individuals who do nothing but take. My days of charity are over. My time will be spent on the people who matter.
I still love the holidays. Thanks to some amazing people. I have a handle on my final project due in two weeks, the house is ready for Christmas, and I am ready to enjoy my favorite time of year.
To my honey, missed you so much this Thanksgiving. Everyone wished you well and were extremely grateful for your service. They mentioned you in prayer which of course made me cry. Tux had an outstanding time with all the new people to meet and puppies to play with. Everyone loved him. I will have pics and a video for you soon. Weather is really nice here. I thought about you as I watched people dressed in hunting gear. Hunting would have been amazing with the weather being so warm. Hopefully you'll be home next year for Thanksgiving and we'll have to decide where to spend it. We've been invited back out to the lake so everyone can meet you. Then there is Cali and Arkansas. It will be a tough decision unless we're creative and can fit it all in. HA! Love you!
Play Safe, Play Smart
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