We're winding down our couple of weeks of RnR. Tomorrow he returns to Iraq. Whew! It has been a whirlwind of activity. There hasn't been much time for blogging. I have thoroughly enjoyed these two weeks although they have been hectic at times. We accomplished a lot of important to-do items and enjoyed a wonderful statecation.
My daughter is learning how to drive and with the purchase of a new, used car, she is learning how to drive a standard. Before long she will have her official license. (SCARY!) My hubby is amazingly patient with her. I don't see how he stays so calm.
We enjoyed many wonderful meals including a wild dinner with his parents, the boyfriend, prom dates and a bachelorette party. You had to of been there. Kansas City was an aboslute blast. The Great Wolf Lodge was so much fun. Between the indoor waterpark and the MagiQuest, we stayed busy. All of which would not have been possible without the main man. We will miss him this summer.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
A Moment of Normal - RnR
My hubby is home for two weeks for RnR. People have been asking me am I glad he is back. Yes, of course, but it is so much more than that. It is like a huge weight had been lifted. I feel relieved. Not relieved in the sense of fear for his safety. I'm glad he is safe at home, but that has never been a thought that has held me captive. I'm relieved by his mere presence, the sense of security and partnership. We were driving in the truck and I thought to myself, I'm not alone anymore. He is here and everything is how it should be. It's nice to feel normal again. My rock, my safety net, my soft place to land has returned.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wait for it..Wait for it.. - Deployment Daze 222
After 222 long days, I finally get to see my hubby. He is scheduled to be returning to the states for RnR soon. I can't believe it is actually happening. Several times his RnR was pushed back. It was disappointing, but you learn to deal with that "hurry up and wait" scenario when you're an Army family. Regardless, the time I've waited for is here and I couldn't be more excited.
I'm actually surprised by my level of excitement. I didn't think I would be this effected. It is like when you pop the tab to a soda and it makes that whoosh sound. All these bubbles rush out and tickle your nose. Well my tab has been popped. I realize that while he was gone I had shut down a part of me. Part of me was on hold, waiting. With the phone call telling me what day and time to pick him up, my excitement and joy is rising to the surface. I can't wait. But I have to...
It's the hardest part. The waiting!. While in transit, the communication is null. We're in limbo. Waiting for the next call to tell us where he is at, what country. Watching the news, the weather, the volcano. Hoping nothing interferes with flights. Praying everything is on schedule. Waiting and waiting and waiting..for the words, "I'm in Dallas and I'm getting ready to fly home."
To my honey, I can't believe you'll be home soon. Every evening is a blessing because it is one more day closer to your arrival. The kids are so excited to see you. We've cleaned house like crazy all weekend so it will look nice for your return and when your parents come. Tux is excited too..he just doesn't know it. I'm sure when he sees you, he'll be so happy he pees. I'm probably going to cry when I see you, but I'll try not to. Hopefully when you get to read this, you'll be right where you belong. At home!
Play Safe, Play Smart
I'm actually surprised by my level of excitement. I didn't think I would be this effected. It is like when you pop the tab to a soda and it makes that whoosh sound. All these bubbles rush out and tickle your nose. Well my tab has been popped. I realize that while he was gone I had shut down a part of me. Part of me was on hold, waiting. With the phone call telling me what day and time to pick him up, my excitement and joy is rising to the surface. I can't wait. But I have to...
It's the hardest part. The waiting!. While in transit, the communication is null. We're in limbo. Waiting for the next call to tell us where he is at, what country. Watching the news, the weather, the volcano. Hoping nothing interferes with flights. Praying everything is on schedule. Waiting and waiting and waiting..for the words, "I'm in Dallas and I'm getting ready to fly home."
To my honey, I can't believe you'll be home soon. Every evening is a blessing because it is one more day closer to your arrival. The kids are so excited to see you. We've cleaned house like crazy all weekend so it will look nice for your return and when your parents come. Tux is excited too..he just doesn't know it. I'm sure when he sees you, he'll be so happy he pees. I'm probably going to cry when I see you, but I'll try not to. Hopefully when you get to read this, you'll be right where you belong. At home!
Play Safe, Play Smart
Friday, April 23, 2010
Deployment
My daughter wrote this poem for a writing contest. She won for her grade level.
Deployment
Deployment
Sand and Sun
Colors of green and tan
Combat boots
a year lost
An empty house
An empty bed
Where he used to sleep
Civilian clothes collecting dust
Seeing his tired eyes
Through the computer screen
Unable to embrace him
Loneliness deep in his voice
Counting down the days
Till he returns home
Till we can hold him again
Till we can be a family once more
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
A Glimpse Forward - Deployment Daze 216
Ever experienced a moment when you feel like you are seeing into the future? I did this weekend. My teen daughter had a baby. Now before anyone freaks out, let me clarify by saying it was a class project. You know, one of those robot babies that simulate the real thing.
The assignment was to care for this baby for the weekend. So last Friday, I became a grandmother and my daughter a mother. What an interesting experience. The intent of the project was to give young adults the experience of having a child and the hard work it takes. However, its lesson is just not for the teen. That weekend I learned some things as well.
I saw my daughter as an adult. What was scarier is she was just like me! At times I was really proud. The important lessons I had been trying to teach her showed. She was nurturing and attentive. Doing well on the project was important to her. She took on the whole role. She cooked dinner, did her chores and took care of the baby. We even went grocery shopping. And yes, the baby demanded attention constantly, even at the most inopportune times.
Then there were the habits I wished she hadn't picked up. Wanting everything to be perfect. Trying to do too much. Stressing out as a result. Not being able to relax. The habits that haunt me in my adult life I had passed on to my child. Damn!
The good thing is that I have seen this and can now work towards teaching her coping skills. This baby project gave me a new insight into myself. As for my daughter, she has assertively announced that she is not having kids. I just laughed.
To my honey, you missed out on the baby project. I'm sure you are really disappointed. It was amusing to watch. Not much is going on. We look forward to seeing you soon. Hopefully your air travel will go smoothly and not be interupted by the volcano. The boat is ready to be put in the water and we can't wait to do some fishing. I've almost finished my paper and most of my school work will be completed soon. So we'll have lots of time together.
Play Safe, Play Smart
The assignment was to care for this baby for the weekend. So last Friday, I became a grandmother and my daughter a mother. What an interesting experience. The intent of the project was to give young adults the experience of having a child and the hard work it takes. However, its lesson is just not for the teen. That weekend I learned some things as well.
I saw my daughter as an adult. What was scarier is she was just like me! At times I was really proud. The important lessons I had been trying to teach her showed. She was nurturing and attentive. Doing well on the project was important to her. She took on the whole role. She cooked dinner, did her chores and took care of the baby. We even went grocery shopping. And yes, the baby demanded attention constantly, even at the most inopportune times.
Then there were the habits I wished she hadn't picked up. Wanting everything to be perfect. Trying to do too much. Stressing out as a result. Not being able to relax. The habits that haunt me in my adult life I had passed on to my child. Damn!
The good thing is that I have seen this and can now work towards teaching her coping skills. This baby project gave me a new insight into myself. As for my daughter, she has assertively announced that she is not having kids. I just laughed.
To my honey, you missed out on the baby project. I'm sure you are really disappointed. It was amusing to watch. Not much is going on. We look forward to seeing you soon. Hopefully your air travel will go smoothly and not be interupted by the volcano. The boat is ready to be put in the water and we can't wait to do some fishing. I've almost finished my paper and most of my school work will be completed soon. So we'll have lots of time together.
Play Safe, Play Smart
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Too Much On the Plate - Deployment Daze 206
My son comes home with a paper from school describing the 5th grade science project requirements. OH NO! I thought to myself. Do the schools understand exactly what they are asking? The timing couldn't have been worst. Husband deployed so I'm single parenting it right now. Working and in graduate school which means I too have homework. In fact two large projects due at the same time as my son's science project.
I know what you're thinking, "It is his project let him do it." That sounds good in theory. What people fail to realize is that to complete a fairly decent project the child needs help. It requires time from the parent to help facilitate and supply the project. Well, when your limited on time and there is only you it makes for a very stressful situation.
So there I was, two projects due this weekend. A science project that needed to be started and a whole list of other things that needed to get done. After a mental meltdown, freak out, and then some deep breathing, I did what any quality parent would do. Put my homework on hold, rallied the troops, and started the 5th grade science project. My son, his big sis , her boyfriend, and I got to work. We conducted the experiment and have our results. Now just the display has to be put together.
Although I was stressed by the inconvenience, I realize that as a parent some things come first. There are times, well many times, when you have to sacrifice. Kids need your time and energy. It is proven that students who have parents that make school work a priority and actually spend time to work with them are more successful in school. It is also proven that it impacts their future as an adult. Too many times I have seen students struggle, not because they can't do the work, but because the adult in their life doesn't put the effort in to help or check. The child has no support. If you want your child to be successful in school, you, the parent, must make it a priority.
I know sometimes it can be overwhelming. I know sometimes the work doesn't make sense. Nevertheless, the parents actions influence the path the child takes. I am comforted by the fact that we worked through the difficulties and accomplished what we needed to today. Science project is half way completed. And the bonus? Both my assignments are done as well.
To my honey, sorry that we didn't have much time to talk today. As you know it was a stressful time. I was a bit overwhelmed with everything that had to get done. Thanks for being patient with me. I miss you very much. I know you think I'm this superwoman, but honestly, it is time to hang up my cape. I getting too old for this s***t. It has been warm here. I hope the weather stays this way so we can go out on the boat when you're here for RnR. After today, I'm thinking Mexico might be a great destination for our upcoming family trip! Lounging by the pool, swimming in the cenote, and a snorkeling day at Xhel-Ha beach. Back the bags!
I know what you're thinking, "It is his project let him do it." That sounds good in theory. What people fail to realize is that to complete a fairly decent project the child needs help. It requires time from the parent to help facilitate and supply the project. Well, when your limited on time and there is only you it makes for a very stressful situation.
So there I was, two projects due this weekend. A science project that needed to be started and a whole list of other things that needed to get done. After a mental meltdown, freak out, and then some deep breathing, I did what any quality parent would do. Put my homework on hold, rallied the troops, and started the 5th grade science project. My son, his big sis , her boyfriend, and I got to work. We conducted the experiment and have our results. Now just the display has to be put together.
Although I was stressed by the inconvenience, I realize that as a parent some things come first. There are times, well many times, when you have to sacrifice. Kids need your time and energy. It is proven that students who have parents that make school work a priority and actually spend time to work with them are more successful in school. It is also proven that it impacts their future as an adult. Too many times I have seen students struggle, not because they can't do the work, but because the adult in their life doesn't put the effort in to help or check. The child has no support. If you want your child to be successful in school, you, the parent, must make it a priority.
I know sometimes it can be overwhelming. I know sometimes the work doesn't make sense. Nevertheless, the parents actions influence the path the child takes. I am comforted by the fact that we worked through the difficulties and accomplished what we needed to today. Science project is half way completed. And the bonus? Both my assignments are done as well.
To my honey, sorry that we didn't have much time to talk today. As you know it was a stressful time. I was a bit overwhelmed with everything that had to get done. Thanks for being patient with me. I miss you very much. I know you think I'm this superwoman, but honestly, it is time to hang up my cape. I getting too old for this s***t. It has been warm here. I hope the weather stays this way so we can go out on the boat when you're here for RnR. After today, I'm thinking Mexico might be a great destination for our upcoming family trip! Lounging by the pool, swimming in the cenote, and a snorkeling day at Xhel-Ha beach. Back the bags!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Twilight Zone - Deployment Daze 202
Your traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.... You've entered the Twilight Zone. (Not really, it's Kansas)
To some of you these words uttered by Rod Serling will be familiar. If you're to young to know the show, it was a show about ordinary people who found themselves in strange, bizarre and most often scary places. Places that did not make sense. Where nothing was how it should be. People were not how they should be. Lately that is how I have been feeling. Disconnected, out of place in the world. Nothing fits, I don't fit. For the first time, I truly feel uncomfortable in my life.
Can I put my finger on what it is? Not really. I don't know if it is the emotional wear and tear of deployment, the isolation, the culture, or what? I just want to run from this place screaming. If you were to ask me to explain it I couldn't. Something is out of place. I fear now that something is me!
The kids love it here. They love their school and have great friends. For them it has been wonderful. For that I am grateful. However, that is the nature of the Twilight Zone. Only the main character is stuck in the other dimension. So for now I'm stuck. Stuck inside the journey through the Twilight Zone
To my honey, RnR can not get here soon enough. I can't believe we finally have official dates. At least as close to official as you can get with the Army. Information changes and morphs into something else that sometimes I wonder if I ever knew what was going on in the first place. Hopefully, we will be enjoying RnR soon and according to plan. I need some sense of stability, sanity, some normalcy that only you can provide. I look forward to having some fun! Oh! Our delivery date got moved up..so baby will be here in two weeks! I'll let you know how it goes.
Play Safe, Play Smart
To some of you these words uttered by Rod Serling will be familiar. If you're to young to know the show, it was a show about ordinary people who found themselves in strange, bizarre and most often scary places. Places that did not make sense. Where nothing was how it should be. People were not how they should be. Lately that is how I have been feeling. Disconnected, out of place in the world. Nothing fits, I don't fit. For the first time, I truly feel uncomfortable in my life.
Can I put my finger on what it is? Not really. I don't know if it is the emotional wear and tear of deployment, the isolation, the culture, or what? I just want to run from this place screaming. If you were to ask me to explain it I couldn't. Something is out of place. I fear now that something is me!
The kids love it here. They love their school and have great friends. For them it has been wonderful. For that I am grateful. However, that is the nature of the Twilight Zone. Only the main character is stuck in the other dimension. So for now I'm stuck. Stuck inside the journey through the Twilight Zone
To my honey, RnR can not get here soon enough. I can't believe we finally have official dates. At least as close to official as you can get with the Army. Information changes and morphs into something else that sometimes I wonder if I ever knew what was going on in the first place. Hopefully, we will be enjoying RnR soon and according to plan. I need some sense of stability, sanity, some normalcy that only you can provide. I look forward to having some fun! Oh! Our delivery date got moved up..so baby will be here in two weeks! I'll let you know how it goes.
Play Safe, Play Smart
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