Crazy Busy - Deployment Daze 134

Ok, so I skipped a week. Just couldn't find the motivation to blog. With the loss by the Vikings, I found myself lost. Now what? No more football? The one thing I look forward to on the weekends was my Sunday football. Nevertheless, my weekend and weeks have been crazy busy.


My son celebrated his 11th birthday with a party followed by soccer. Tons of fun but exhausting. My Sunday of relaxation turned into a stressed out affair with the nail biting Vikings vs. Saints game. Then back to the daily grind of the week.

School of course is a place that I thrive. Studying change theory in one class and developing a project plan for a website in another. Yep! I will have my own website. Starting with something small. A simple family site where immediate family and select friends can log on and see the happenings of the Brown Clan from Kansas. Still working on a catchy name. Now my mom can keep up-to-date with everyone and not stress about being on MySpace. If this web site is successful then I might venture to create a more public one for all my Fx peeps. We'll have to see.

Alot more is mov'n and shak'n with where I'm at and where I'm going. I have some critical decisions to make regarding my role in life. Just don't know if I'm ready to take on so much responsibility. I've always wanted to be an important player within this area and provide the leadership and support needed. Just now that the opportunity has presented itself, not quite sure if I'm ready. Be careful what you wish for.

As we move into our 6 month of deployment, I find that emotionally I'm back at Day 1. It seems not be getting easier , but harder and more stressful. I'm sadden by the loneliness. Will is ever come to an end? The kids are even feeling the strain. They show it in different ways through poetry, drawings, little sayings. I guess that is their mode for handling it.

To my honey, we all miss you very much. Skype no longer can compensate for you not being with us. I'm ready for this to be done. Still not sure about my decision. I so afraid that I will fail or not be able to handle what needs to be accomplished. The "What if" keeps me from taking that leap of faith. We're all trudging forward one step at a time. Love you lots.

Play Safe, Play Smart.