Saturday, September 19, 2009

Drinking from an Empty Cup - Deployment Day Three

Woke up this morning thinking it was all a bad dream. Then reality hit and the feeling of emptiness sets in. It is so hard to describe or compare this experience with anything else. Slept most of the morning away. Just can't get motivated to get anything accomplished. Still feeling woozy from the bump on my head. Must of hit it pretty good. Not feeling well is making this a whole lot worse. Or least I try to convince myself of that. Maybe it just that I'm not as strong as I thought I was.


When I heard from my hubby early this morning I felt better. It's always good to hear his voice. However, I am now a slave to the phone. Carrying it around as if I was a toddler with their favorite blanket. How strange to be that venerable.

My will to accomplish the simplest tasks has left me. I look at my unkempt house and the piles of laundry that need washing and fail to see the purpose in getting those things done. It is as if I've lost my purpose. The emptiness is so profound that it is hard to fill with anything else.

I did manage to get dragged out of the house by my neighbor. Which did me a lot of good. I accomplished some homework. Still have a lot to do. If he were here, he would be telling me to suck it up and get busy.

To my honey, the house is not the same without you. Your place on the couch is so empty. The house is so quiet without you. We miss your sarcasm, your unusual humor, the orders that you bark and we ignore, an all the other wonderful, frustrating, and silly dynamics that make up our family. Love you bunches. Waiting patiently for your return.

Play Safe, Play Smart

No comments:

Post a Comment